Monday, February 27, 2017

Digging up the bones

Looking back at my youth, back to when I was a Goth Fledgling, I realized many things. One of them was that I had a very strong knowledge on who I was. Somehow, as I got older, that knowledge became muddled and some of it got lost along the way. It is known that teenagers go through a phase or two in their life time and I went through many. Thanks to wearing many hats and to some harrowing life experiences,by the time I was eighteen, I had a very strong sense of who I was.

For example, when I was about twelve years old, out of the blue, I decided that I was vegetarian but several hours after I declared that I was no longer going to eat meat, one of my sisters tempted me with pepperoni pizza.  I then decided that the veggie life wasn't for me! I was also very into metal and head banged to my favourite songs. I discovered Nirvana and decided I was grunge instead. I  once wrote about these phases in the past and how I came to Goth in my teenage years.

Considering I recently celebrated a birthday and as I am very slowly getting closer to my fortieth birthday (it's still a few years away), I have been looking into my past a lot these past couple of weeks. I realize that as I grow older, the more like my baby bat self I become...except this time, I am much better informed about the subculture than I was back then! It seems as a I get older, the more I am reverting back to my old ways. I look at my personality and certain traits that I once brushed aside because I assumed was being immature are starting to re-surface. For instance, I can be a "bouncy" person. I am jovial. I always wanted people to take me seriously and felt like I needed to tone that down in order to do so. Over the past couple of months, I noticed that I use that perkiness (after all that coffee I drink, who wouldn't bounce off the walls?) to my advantage.I make stupid remarks. I use my sarcasm and wit because I think I am being hilarious and I really do believe that this is well received! I think one of the reasons why I like the show Gilmore Girls so much is because I am a lot like the main character. I realized people don't just call me Abby from the show NCIS because I apparently look like her, it's because I act like her! When I was younger, I was constantly told that this made me arrogant and unpleasant. The first real job I had working in a corporate office, I was told that it made me unprofessional or even seem immature but you know something? Perhaps it is the fact that I worked at the same company for 5 years but I think a lot of my coworkers actually like that attitude. I am not ass, I can be polite, especially when I need to tell someone "no" but I add my own little flair into things.I think this is one of the many reasons why my husband fell in love with me. I am a bundle of energy! I make him smile.

I do not have any fun recent photos so please accept these regurgitated silly ones.

I spent years of my life trying to fit into a tiny box. I allowed a lot of stupid societal pressures get to me. I realized that as I get older, the more subdued I become. I just stopped giving a fuck .Unlike my teenage years where I would tell people off for looking at me funny, I just stopped caring. I realized that some people even today still talk about me behind my back or even imply to my face that they disapprove of my lifestyle. Like their opinion of me or on things they have zero knowledge on, would mean something to me. As if dressing all in black and very occasionally going out is committing a felony. How dare I wear clothing that make me feel confident, attractive and happy in? How dare I find time for myself? I must be a REALLY bad mom. The way I see it, this speaks volumes about them and less about me.  I like that I can be sarcastic and witty. I like the way I dress. I like being Goth. I love having like-minded friends who not only have the same music preferences as I do but also share my love for the macabre. I like that I can talk fast and make funny remarks at the drop of a hat. I like that I can be a bundle of sarcasm. I like being geeky and make silly pop culture references.I am not everyone's proverbial cup of tea. I like that I got that pole out of my ass and just stopped taking myself so damned seriously all the time! Life is too short. As for anyone's opinion about me,  I just learned to not care.

Monday, February 20, 2017

Updates and Pop figures

Hello everyone!

It has been a while, hasn't it? Life has been busy and I was hit by a slight case of writer's block.

My family is doing well. My health has been ok although I had a few migraines in between.

My birthday rolled around on Friday and it seems like I managed to break the curse. Aside from last year, for the longest of times, I was sick on my birthday. I mean REALLY sick with fever and it was usually strep or bronchitis.

Look at the cute Pop figures I got for my birthday!


Obviously, Elvira holds a special place in my heart for many reasons, which I won't waste your time by stating the obvious. She is also dear to me because when I was a teenager, certain acquaintances thought it was humourous to call me Morticia, Vampira or Elvira. When I was younger, I had no clue who these people were (Vampira and Elvira that is, I was VERY familiar with the Addams family back then) until one day, I did some research. What originally was meant as an insult or some form of bullying, turned out to be one of the biggest compliments anyone could ever give me!

10th Doctor with hand in a jar and the war doctor! Still in boxes because that is the only way the Doctor Who collection can fit on my shelf. I have the boxes stacked on top of each other!

It's been a while since I haven't posted any Pops here. Here's what I got over Christmas.

I got Zero!

Mary Poppins and Maleficient
Jay, being the super awesome husband that he is, allowed me to put some of them in front of his D&D books because I need space! To compromise, I put the ones I know he likes. Not seen in the particular post but I have some Star Wars ones (Han Solo, Chewbacca,, Yoda, and the Cantina musician from A New Hope) the Rocky Horror (entire collection) and World Of Warcraft (Lady Sylvanast, Thrall, and a Murloc) I really need help! I want more! As some of you know, I plan on moving this summer. I am not looking forward to packing all this!I kept ALL the original boxes like the big geek that I am!

Tuesday, February 14, 2017

Vampire's day soirée

Like last year, I signed up to participate in the Vampire's day soirée, hosted by Holly's Horror Land.  This year, I am going to write about a fictional character from Nancy Kilpatrick's latest novel, Revenge Of The Vampir King.

In all honesty, I really do like the novel. I was always a fan of Nancy's work. Yes, she gave me an advance copy of her book in exchange for a review, which I have previously done here. I write about the things that inspire me and what I like.  I really do like her book and it inspired me so I am going to write about it. So there!

I am going to specifically write about one of my favourite characters in the novel. Despite her being a vampir, I relate to her. She is the Vampire Mom called Belladonna.

Belladonna was Sapien and turned by her lover after she gave birth to his child, Moarte (main character of the novel) I don't relate to her because she is a mother.I relate to the strong personality behind the character. I don't want to give too much away and all so I am going to try to be vague about the plot as best as I can so I think a character description would suffice.

The reason Belladona is one of my favourite characters is because she is the voice of reason whenever Moarte has a tendency to let his emotions (especially his anger) get the better of him. Moarte has a tendency to react before he thinks about the situation logically and Belladonna is one of the very few people who can reason with him whenever he is in that state. She is like how Spock is to Kirk (yes, I went there and made a Star Trek reference). On the other hand, I don't get the impression that Belladonna doesn't have any emotions (just like I think Spock has emotions but he represses them in favor of logic) and I do feel that Belladonna is the same way. She can remove herself from a situation, remove her feelings and make a logical choice. As contradictory as it may sound, she does use her feelings, her intuition to help guide her as well.  She is very understanding towards others and is compassionate. While Moarte is king and has a great mind with military maneuvers, Belladonna is the heart and mind behind the throne.I think the reason why he was able to successfully be the king is really because there is a strong advisor there to help guide him.

Nancy Kilpatrick wrote some wonderful characters. All of which you may despise at first but grow to love later. To me, this is what makes a talented writer. Not only can she spin a captivating story, but they are made to feel real, there is life behind characters, even the undead ones!

Lastly, I would like to thank Holly for hosting this wonderful event. 

Thursday, February 9, 2017

Responding to a blog post and some dorky pictures

I came across a really interesting article over the weekend that is posted on the blog section off of the Belfry Network's page.

Essentially, the author, from what I understand is also a DJ called Aytakk who wrote about his opinions on being Goth and discrimination. This is the article I am referencing:

The article begins by Aytakk making a commentary on how it took him three drafts to write that post - something I can relate to and I smiled at his honesty. He also made a reference to US politics and Black Friday in which I assumed it was because she was refused entry to the Louvre recently due to her style.

Aytakk then comments on how social media can be narcissistic, how we all want to project our own brand of person. I am not going to comment on this...after all, I am the little corp goth girl, right?

Which leads to...

Being Goth in a mainstream world.

Aytakk wrote it best so I am just going to quote him here: "There is good reason why people in the goth subculture have to stress again and again that you don't have to be "on" 24/7. Its not because we can't do it all the time or if we are afraid to. Sometimes its simply a matter of survival or being able to do the things we want to do."

I wholeheartedly agree with this sentiment. I work as a receptionist. While corporate policy doesn't really have a dress code, there are definitely certain articles of clothing I own that are best kept for at home (*cough cough* club and fetish gear being a shinning example). In fact, considering a lot of my colleagues have come into the office with holes in their jeans or wearing shirts with skulls on them, and I can't, I could technically scream discrimination. I don't and I never will. The way I see it, I am the first point of contact anyone makes when they walk in the building and while my work will often overlook A LOT of the things I do wear, I want to remain moderately "professional" and friendly. Not everyone is open minded and as much as I wish I could be accepted for the wonderful, cute person I am, I know not everyone likes the Goth look and some people make all kinds of stupid assumptions. It sucks but I am happy that I can dress the way I want (within reason) so I am not going to complain.

In addition, I can't be "on" 24/7 because I am also a Mom. I work 40 hours a week to come home, cook, help my kid with his homework, and by the end of the night, I want to watch Star Trek on Netflix! I also have some health issues. There are days, I just wear sweat pants and a t-shirt then call it a day because I feel like shit. I have also changed my lifestyle and exercise often. I am not going to work out in my stompy boots and corsets!

Aytakk describes many places that do have dress codes. He gives many examples from fancy restaurants and how certain night clubs refused entry to those wearing jeans and visible tattoos. That dressing in full goth gear all the time, we should be used to this kind of stigma. If we want to go to certain places that have dress codes, we have to tone it down. I wish things could be different but we don't live in that world. I choose to dress a certain way, I lose my right to bitch about it. I think the author describes this well in his article.  I especially liked the advice he did have to offer:

"But that doesn't mean we have to lie back and take it. The more alternative people are going about looking... well... alternative, the more people get used to seeing it. Given strange looking weirdoes (in a good way) have been around since forever you would think this wouldn't matter nowadays.  Yet it does because NO I AM NOT GOING INTO A POLITICAL RANT ABOUT THE CURRENT STATE OF THE WORLD.
If someone discriminates then call them out on it. Alternatively, keep asking why until they are forced to admit to it with their own words and realize their action was discriminatory. Then you discover if it was an accident, just following the bosses orders or if they really are an arsehole.  Don't be accusatory though. It makes people defensive of their stance and they won't learn anything. Also its good to know what you have to tone down if you want to come back and if their rules are strict so it doesn't happen again."

I can attest. I have done this in the past (not at my job but dealing with people in general) and it works! 

 Aytakk makes a commentary about promoting your own personal brand of Goth online (re:Youtube) and essentially states that some kids watching these videos only see the aesthetics behind Goth, nothing else behind the subculture. They see it as a fashion statement with no substance.

To a certain degree, I am guilty of this with my outfit posts and my recent one about changing my hair color. On the other hand, I have also made a tonne of music references here, I wrote about attending some events and there are tons of photos of me on this blog where I am really toned down. I even have photos of me in workout clothes (I admit, bragging rights because I lost weight and all!)Personally, I want to show everyone, you don't need to be "on" all the time and I am very comfortable being myself, even if it doesn't mean that I am not dressed Goth as fuck!  I have my life to live too!

Here are some examples from old outfit posts where I am toned down. Holy shit, I am such a dork! I would like to point out, being sort of relevant to what Aytakk was writing about, there are ways to promote tolerance towards your lifestyle. For example, by going back through some blog posts searching for my more, toned down outfit posts,  I realized that back then I wanted to do a more "normal" corp goth look. As  the years went by in my current job, that ship has sailed. I definitely look more alternative now! As a result, I should probably change the title to my blog.

In fact, back in my day, when I was a young kid back in the nineties, not very many people wore makeup like some of these online Goth celebrities or Youtubers. While I am by NO MEANS going elitist on their ass, just if we saw that sort of look back then, unfortunately, these young Youtubers wouldn't be taken seriously. I know, at that time, a lot of people would have seriously questioned their goth cred. In fact, when I came back to goth after leaving the scene and saw some of these Youtube personalities, I was a little intrigued. Before anyone comments, this is from my personal experience while experiencing the subculture in the nineties and I do not share this sentiment at all! I was a "Marilyn Manson Spooky kid" - that was the term we used because baby bat and Mall goth wasn't invented yet! I was in no position to judge! I wore Crow makeup for crying out loud and I did it VERY badly. The lines were uneven and I just looked ridiculous! No, I don't have photos. I wish I did so I could laugh at myself but I sadly destroyed that evidence eons ago.

With the way things are in the US and their ultra conservative Government, I can see why some of us are scared but the way I see it, while I can understand the fear, I feel that we have faced this sort of hate before and we have to look out for each other.We will get through this. Obviously, I don't live in the US, I can easily write these things in the safety of my home but I have seen backlash over here. Muslim people were shot in their own place of worship in Quebec city and a Mosque was vandalized in Montreal are but a few examples of what is going on. It seems that with that Orange dude in the White house, racism, misogyny, and intolerance now seem to be acceptable, especially in the US. At least over here, women have rights over their own bodies!  On the other hand, I don't like the whole "its not really happening over here so why should I care?" mentality. I am not going to take any form of such intolerance laying down. I once foolishly stopped being who I was because of some stupid societal pressures, I am not going to let this happen again. Do I need to be "on" all the time? Hell no but there is nothing wrong with being in-between! In my opinion, Goth was derived from the punk movement. My fellow punks didn't take that shit back then so why should I now? 

Monday, February 6, 2017

Purplish people eater

I was tired of having two toned, boring hair. My top was much lighter than my ends and I just got tired of looking at it. I also noticed that I have grey! When did that happen? I blame it on my kid! He gave them to me!

I didn't want to go back to black but I remember a long time ago, I had dark purple hair. I loved it because it faded to a deep auburn color which matches my natural shade. I thought I was blonde but my hair got redder and darker in my old age!

 So yes, I dyed my hair again. I don't care about the damage to my hair (although it was quite minimal) and yes, I still go swimming but found a better treatment to put in my hair prior

I am quite happy with the results. I used to use L'Oreal Noire Fatale in plum but I opted for a different brand called Schwarzkopf instead. It was a little on the pricy side but when the dye is called black cherry, you know it is the shade you want! I find that the color blends in nicely with my black tips and it is something that will eventually blend in with my natural color; Meaning, I wont have to color so often! It will also enable my hair to grow out a little more and I could eventually trim off the black ends.I love my hair and I am happy!

This is where I got the image

Disclaimer: This is NOT a sponsored post. I bought this on my own and I really like this product, therefore, I wanted to pass along the info to those who maybe interested.

Thursday, February 2, 2017

Some serious blogging thoughts

Motherhood is a very important part of me and it is something I am very proud of. I love being a mom. I love taking care of my little boy and sometimes, I am overeager to share his milestones with people, especially on Social media where my distant family members who regularly don't get to see him can read funny stories and see family photos.

An article popped up on my Facebook newsfeed today that made me re-think about what I post online, especially with blog posts. You see,  a mother wrote a pretty controversial blog post about her son hitting puberty and later regretted it. This got me thinking. How would my own kid feel about the numerous blog posts I have written about him? Granted, I would never go so far as to write about personal, intimate details about him but how would he feel if he saw his pictures online and didn't want them there? How would he feel about the posts I wrote about him?  Would he be happy that I wrote about his personal experiences?

This is not the first article where people have mentioned the oversharing on social media. In fact, there is an entire site dedicated towards parents over sharing details about their kids. It is quite entertaining.

While I like to think I do not go to extremes as most people do, I think I am going to seriously reconsider what I am going to share online from now on.

What are your thoughts regarding this?


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