Thursday, February 2, 2017

Some serious blogging thoughts

Motherhood is a very important part of me and it is something I am very proud of. I love being a mom. I love taking care of my little boy and sometimes, I am overeager to share his milestones with people, especially on Social media where my distant family members who regularly don't get to see him can read funny stories and see family photos.

An article popped up on my Facebook newsfeed today that made me re-think about what I post online, especially with blog posts. You see,  a mother wrote a pretty controversial blog post about her son hitting puberty and later regretted it. This got me thinking. How would my own kid feel about the numerous blog posts I have written about him? Granted, I would never go so far as to write about personal, intimate details about him but how would he feel if he saw his pictures online and didn't want them there? How would he feel about the posts I wrote about him?  Would he be happy that I wrote about his personal experiences?

This is not the first article where people have mentioned the oversharing on social media. In fact, there is an entire site dedicated towards parents over sharing details about their kids. It is quite entertaining. http://www.stfuparentsblog.com

While I like to think I do not go to extremes as most people do, I think I am going to seriously reconsider what I am going to share online from now on.

What are your thoughts regarding this?

11 comments:

  1. Interesting post. I had to ditch social media sites like FB because I couldn't stand oversharing in general, but kids were always the main theme for any post and it got right up my arse after awhile. There are people who have dedicated their lives to documenting every little step of their son or daughter's childhood on social media. Just think, all that time spent photographing and blogging, or posting about the kid on Facebook, could have been spent creating more engaging experiences with that child! But instead mum is too busy playing on her phone bragging about motherhood. When it comes to these fanatics there's a disconnect between what's actually happening and what the person is presenting to us; they typically aren't thinking about how it impacts the child and their sense of self, the parent is usually only thinking about themselves. I think it's that selfishness that drives parents to overshare things, it's not about the kid anymore it's more about mom's experience (or dad, but that seems so much more rare).

    I've never felt like you overshare in regards to your son. You keep things in perspective. When you do write about him it's about your struggles with parenting, or his struggles as a child, but never anything weird or unnecessary. When it begins to venture into weird things, like when someone deliberately posts something to gain sympathy in a manipulative way, or is constantly fishing for compliments, then it's becoming a problem. But you have your head on straight, I can't see you going that route.

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    1. Thank you for your input and reassurance, Ladyfair. That is very sweet of you. I remember having to unfollow some people because they would post 20 pictures of their kids, all in the same pose. All they wrote about was their kids. Its annoying. I am by no means a perfect parent and I really want to convey that here because there is so much pressure to do so. I want to show people that you can be a parent and do other amazing things too. Naturally, I am going to think my kid is the greatest thing since sliced bread but not everyone is going to see it that way. I guess it is all in moderation

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  2. Maybe kids these days won't have the same privacy hangups that we had growing up. I know I died of embarrassment every time my mom shared photos/stories of me as a kid... I only stopped caring when I was in my 30s. She only shared the bad things about me either for sympathy or to belittle and control me. Most of my friends with kids (who aren't abusive like my mom..I hope) have expressed worry about consent, and some have stopped posting altogether...I don't know if that's the right way to go either, especially since other family members may only connect though social media and would be interested to know how the kids are doing. I'm sure as social media starts to mature there's going to be some standards for decency. but who knows? Parenting in the 21st century...

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    1. Thank you for your input. First of all, I am so sorry you had to deal with that kind of abuse as a child.I know of other parents that do that sort of shit and it is really sad. Secondly, I am torn between posting vs not posting for some of the reasons you commented on. I have a huge family and I know my family members like seeing photos of my little one, hearing about his development milestones and hearing silly stories about him. He doesn't seem to mind and actually likes that I read him some of the comments I receive whenever I do post a photo or share a Philip story. My family seems to appreciate it too. I also feel that if I didn't post anything about him and where the majority of parents do, how would he feel about that later on? Would he think I was ashamed of him? I think in cases like these, depending on the child's age, I think anything in moderation is OK. Some parents over share and even I sometimes catch myself rolling my eyes at some of the posts I read.

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  3. Pretty much what Ladyfair said. Just keep doing what you're doing.

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  4. I don't think you are oversharing. I'm struggling to understand people with children and your posts on parenthood have helped me immensely, I'm very thankful for them. Although your son is far from the age of consent, he's able to think for himself and it's great that you discuss with him the things you're posting. I don't think he'll have reason to be embarrassed later if he grows up accustomed to the fact that you share stories about him once in a while, stories he approved at the time of their publication. I think of some of my friends on FB, many of them I unfriended as soon as they started posting baby pictures (gross newborn pictures, placentas... we weren't close anyway). One couple are pretty close friends who post a lot of baby pictures, many are embarrassing. Luckily they tag the baby's name and I can filter them out of my newsfeed. It's not my place to lecture them on parenting, but I would never do this if I had a child. I try to picture the baby grown up, what kind of privacy will she have? She had a FB profile since she was a couple months old. The photos may be deleted later, but they don't go away anywhere. What will happen when her classmates dig them up? Kids can be so mean to each other. Then I have another friend, I had no reason to delete him or filter his photos. His kid is a few years old now and there are maybe 10 photos of him total, all very neutral, not naked, drooling or otherwise embarrassing. Maybe the future generations will be less hung up on privacy and less easily embarrassed, let's hope it will be so but I wouldn't bet on that. I think parents should try putting themselves in the child's shoes and if they feel ok about what they're posting from the child's perspective, they may post it.

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    1. That is very true. I asked my little one earlier on how he felt about all this. He responded that I dont really put anything that would embarass him and he knows that I want to show everyone how cute he is. If later on there is anything that he dislikes, I would take down.

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    2. That is very true. I asked my little one earlier on how he felt about all this. He responded that I dont really put anything that would embarass him and he knows that I want to show everyone how cute he is. If later on there is anything that he dislikes, I would take down.

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  5. Your son is still young and I don't think you overshare. As some other comments noted, some folks go overboard. I've always read your social media posts as a mom who adores her son; and the son adores her. It's sweet. Now going into someone puberty... oy!

    This generation is going to experience *privacy* so very differently than we do. I like to think of social media is another form of public diary. He may even come to appreciate what you've documented; no matter what the time period, rest assure that parents will embarrass their children. That's a given ;D

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  6. Whoever is posted on my blog gives his or her permission. In case of minors, I'd rather not share anything at all. During childhood and puberty, peers are mean and try to find ways to hurt everyone. And I can imagine that they will find this blog and use it against him... Sorry but this is my opinion!

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