Friday, January 13, 2017

How to look like a cheap goth whore in a few easy steps.

While I was Facebooking away, I noticed that my friends over at Cemetery confessions shared an article on their page called "I gave my sweetest coworker the goth makeup of her dreams"


Edit: It appears they changed the title! I guess they got mocked by too many Goths! Seriously, go check it out, it gets worse!!!!


This article greatly amused the elitist in me because the post also appears to be an advertisement for clothing an actual goth wouldn't go near with a ten foot pole.

 I tried to look beyond the Calvin Klein sports bra and focus on the makeup, which I think is what the blogger was trying to post about. That is the thing, if you are going to give a "goth makeup" makeover, do you REALLY need to show her sporty outfit? Or are you getting paid by these well known brands to sponsor their clothing? Calvin Klein and Steve Madden do not make up a goth outfit, no matter how hard you try to label it! Why not dress up her Goth from head to toe?

Image on the left is what Health "Goth" is supposed to be, ironically, the majority of us mocked the shit out of that trend when it came out a couple of years ago. Image on the right was taken from that article. It is sad that a movement that was created to sell athletic wear to Goths is far more goth-like and athletic looking (I can't believe I wrote that in the same sentence) than a bad makeover! I never thought I would see the day!






These sort of articles make me laugh my ass off. It just shows that yet again, the mainstream has no  clue on what Goth really is. The overall impression I got from this article was "Yeah, let's put some black lipstick and heavy eyeliner on to make her look edgy."

I also love how they put "sweet coworker" in the title. Like Goth people can't be sweet. I guess we are too busy being edgy or a bad ass bitch in our black lipstick, right?

This article made my Friday. I am not laughing at the girl getting her makeup done. I am laughing at the fact that the mainstream thinks that as long as you slap on some dark makeup, boom! There you have it! Insta-Goth!

20 comments:

  1. I hope I'm not misunderstanding (and having phone issues so sorry for the double post). I've been gothfor a decade. I'm also a powerlifting gym rat. Are you meaning to imply you can't be both? I actually find health goth inspiring if somewhat silly. Also, if one incorporates that sort of clothing (designer, CK etc) into their wardrobe they can't be goth? That doesn't make sense honestly.

    I do agree though-bad make up is bad. Ha!

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    1. Ugh...no. I go to the gym. I have plenty of hobbies that wouldnt fit into the goth niche. I am implying that with the wardrobe she was wearing, I wouldnt call that goth. Perhaps it is your phone issues but I think you may have taken this out of context.

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  2. Gotcha. I see your point. I was confused and misread part of that and thought omg she's on a health journey so this doubly doesn't make sense. Thanks for clarifying.

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  3. The only thing goth about that look is the lipstick. Otherwise, total fail.

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    1. I know. Its like watching a really bad train wreck

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  4. I see just a pretty lady with a bit darker make-up ☺ Actually, I think that you can belong to music subgenre no matter what you wear. Cause for my point of view it is mainly about the music if talking about music genre. Some most brutal metal comes from eastblok countries where they do not affort to look "metal". But oh boy, they are ⛧

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    1. I totally agree! I just get annoyed that they put a label on someone because they have dark lipstick. Reading that article also hurt my brain!

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  5. Eh, it looks like a typical 90s/00s grunge-y teenage girl wear. Been there, wore that - the only difference was that I was too young at that time to wear any makeup, so it seems I can't stretch my goth roots as far back in time >D It's amusing people want to 'edgify' their ideas so much they go as far as to misapply terms. I mean, if the lipstick were dark red, then it would be called 'grunge' (because of the 'heroin chic' look), but when the lipstick is black, then it always has to be 'goth'. Not to mention black lipstick is extremely unflatering and looks babybattish when applied on narrow lips without outlining them to look bigger, so... It really discredits her as a 'fashion blogger for 4 years who loves to give makeovers'. Even I could do it better, I've seen better gothic friendly gym wear, I'm even thinking about buying it because it's so nice - so yep, is looks like I have to >D

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    1. LOL I never understood the concept of goth friendly gym wear. Probably because I just dont really care what I am working out in. Granted I wear all black at the gym and do have labels (I work in that industry so I get clothes from them) but I never thought "Im a goth at the gym" I never really cared. I am there to get a work out but thats just me. I totally agree on the black lipstick.

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  6. I'd call it "sportswear grunge" (?) "hipster sportswear ?
    Definitely not goth!

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    1. Thats another thing I never got. Hipster grunge, health goth, pastel goth. Why do we need to add hipster or goth to a style? I think I am just old. Get of my lawn LOL!

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    2. *off* of my lawn. I really should stay away from the keyboard first thing in the morning. Oh look! My coffee is ready!!!! Squeee! Mmmmm! COFFEEEEE!!!!

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    3. I don't think we should get annoyed by tags. Goths will always be Goths and should just ignore people "mainstreaming" the fashion. I, myself, use the tag "goth" when my look is "goth-inclined" (aka skulls, lots of black, spikes, chains, fishnet etc.) and I KNOW I am no Goth.

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  7. There are actually people out there that think that outfit is goth? Yikes! The makeup was sweet, but not much more.

    When I read the title of the article I thought of someone having a really sweet coworker who was always complimenting them on their look, because they secretly wanted to dress goth, but never dared, and then the auther helping them to "come out". Needless to say, I was quite dissapointed by what I read.

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  8. Health Goth, lol, how dumb...Just why do we need these 'labels'? Isn't being healthy and doing sports a universal thing? Anyway...I honestly thought, that the makeup was only the first part of the makeover and the outfit she's wearing is just something she threw on to be comfy in the meanwhile...:'D

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  9. Im a Goth and i workout every week to be fit and healthy!! Since im a corset freak working out is quite amazing to fitt in those actually!! :)

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    1. I work out twice a week. You can be goth and workout. Its just the article is about giving the girl a "goth makeover" but nothing about the girl or the outfit really looks goth! I personally don't care what I wear when I work out (granted they are all blacks and I have some big brands but I work in that industry LOL) but it was the fact that they put black lipstick on her and boom! She's goth... ugh no. Its annoying how mainstream media thinks that wearing black lipstick makes you goth.

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