Wednesday, October 12, 2016

Alternative parenting

I like to think that the majority of alternative parents teaches the same kind of values to their children as I do. Being individuals or free-thinkers ourselves, we try our best to set that kind of example to our children.

I refuse to teach my son, Philip to follow the herd or to tattle-tale on other kids whenever they do something he doesn't like. I will try to give him tools to resolve his own conflicts and only enlist help from a school official if that fails. I will not promote violence but will defend him should he feel the need to defend himself. I refuse to helicopter parent my child where he grows up and needs a safe space from the world.

My parents, while they did the best they could for me tried to get me to conform to a world that I never felt like I belonged in. I refuse to do that to Philip. I rather teach him to adapt to a world that may not always accept or understand the strange.

My son knew from an early age that he wasn't like most kids. I am not going to force that "herd mentality" upon him. He has a tough road ahead of him but that is ok. Sometimes the toughest roads walked are the most rewarding. Besides, he has two parents that get it and are there for him, which is  something I didn't quite have growing up.

I will teach him to think for himself and not just because he sees something on TV or reads something on the Internet, that it is true. We tell him why we fast forward all the commercials (or mute them if we are watching live TV) because we do not want to be sold something. We encourage him to question what is displayed in front of him and that not everything is all bells and whistles.

When he came home from school to talk about god and how some of his friends go to church, we listen but we give him our honest opinion on the matter. We then encourage him to choose for himself.

We want him to treat people equally despite their gender, age, skin color, religion, etc and hopefully has the self-esteem to defend his personal beliefs.

Despite my urging him to be his own person and have his own interests, I was proud when he told me the other day that he is Goth like his parents and by all means, I will never take that away from him.

6 comments:

  1. Supportive parents make all the difference in the world. My Mom was always supportive of my desire to be myself and follow my own dreams of being independent and having a career. My father and his side of the family wanted me to follow the conventional path for girls/women of my era and prepare myself to be a wife and mother. My teen years would have been much, much more difficult without my Mom's support.

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  2. As a single mother, I felt it was important to let my daughter make her own life choices. She's grown into a strong, independent and caring young woman, who's beautiful both inside and out.

    Philip is already showing signs of independence and for that alone you have every right to be proud ♥ He's also as cute as a button! :)

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