When my father passed away, there was a void in my life for many years. Getting married only brought on more sadness because I wanted him there. When I got pregnant and found out I was having a boy, Jay agreed on letting me name my son after him.
My dad did so much for me that he neglected his health in the process. When I was about 14 years old, he was hospitalized. I didn't think he would make it but he did!
A couple of years later, he was told by the doctor to go get a cardiogram. He kept putting it off because he had better things to do. Well, one cold October evening, my dad had a severe heart attack. It hit him so fast, he didn't suffer.
With all this in mind, I want to give Philip what my dad could never give me; a long life with his parent. I want him to have to put me in a nursing home with all my cats! I want to be there for him through his important milestones. I do realize that when my time is up, my time is up and there is nothing I can possibly do about it. I do know that the current lifestyle choices I have made for myself are not conducive to a long, healthy life. I also feel like shit so I want to make sure that I have energy enough to give Philip (hell even Jay) a stern talking to whenever they need it!
I gained a lot of weight recently. Life was stressful for me. Philip had a hard time at school because of this bully then he had a hard time adjusting to summer camp. I let the anxiety get the better of me and it is not pretty. I love Philip but I need to manage stress and my anxiety better. I need to start putting myself first. By taking care of myself, I will be hopefully giving Philip what my father was never able to give me.
I am back to eating better and have been enjoying my evening walks. I even started to jog a little. I am back with doing all sorts of exercises and taking care of myself.
With all that being said, I am quite fortunate to be living in an old neighborhood. I took some pictures while I was out on my jog/walk earlier today. It sure is motivating to get outside while living in this neighborhood :