Monday, July 25, 2016

Of people staring

"...People on the street, they're ugly, mean and rude
They're bumping into me, they're bumping into you
They never say "excuse me" or "how do you do".
 - Voltaire, Oh Lord, Wake The Dead

While my family and I were out taking a walk over the weekend, my husband noticed something that bothered him. You see, what bothered him was the way I was stared at, pointed at, and looked at with a look of pure disgust on some of these people's faces. The funny part is, I never noticed any of this. I guess I have grown  accustomed to it. Jay was obviously a little annoyed but as I pointed out, I chose to dress like this and go out in public. I know full well that by dressing a certain way, it will attract unwanted attention and I lose my right to complain about it!

The way I have always seen it was simple: Fuck you. Don't like it, don't look. I am happy and I am not going to let anyone's insecurity or stupidity or closed-mindedness affect my day. It says less about me but says volumes about them and their character! Whenever I venture out alone or with someone, for every dirty look I get, I am sure I get a hell of a lot more positive attention!

I remember people asking me "You're a mom now, how is your son going to feel when other people stare at you/judge you/bully you because of the way you dress?" I always smile at these questions because they are well intentioned. I try not to take it the wrong way but see it as they are only showing concern. I always say the same thing whenever I get that question" "it teaches him a lesson on why you shouldn't judge people"

So far, Philip has not really noticed anything peculiar.  He noticed that he is a bit different from the other kids but he never noticed anyone treating me any different or giving me "the stink eye."

What he has noticed: Other people's houses don't have year-round Halloween décor and that makes him sad!

For me personally, where I live, I am not afraid to leave my house. The thought that something may happen to me has never crossed my mind. I like to think that most of these nasty judgmental people are probably more afraid of little old me than I am of them.  I do realize that I am lucky for this and it is not the same for many others.

Philip is a very shy kid but as the stereotype goes, children are attracted to us weird folk like bees are to honey! Philip has made friends because of his "cool mom" who talks about videogames and plays with his peers. I actually prefer to play with the kids then sit around and gossip with the adults! Having children and being exposed to other children also opens you up to a lot of questions about your tattoos, piercings, why you dress that way. Be prepared! Most adults never notice my tongue piercing but almost all the kids in Philip's class did!

I think the most annoying or condescending thing that was ever said to me by another parent was "you changed my views on people like you" Meaning, this person was closed-minded but as she got to know me, she changed her opinion.  I guess I should take this as a compliment but I have a really hard time with that.

I bet there will be days as Philip gets older where he would wish I dressed normal and looked like all the other moms in yoga pants! If that time should ever arrive, I am going to look back at my youth and remember all the times my parents embarrassed me. I won't even try to win that battle!


  1. Ah, people have stared me too at least half of my life,even then when I think I'm dressed pretty casual..but maybe I different somehow with my appearance naturally.And now even more when we go somewhere with my autistic son. They're just trying to lay you down so do not spare even afterwords a thought to those folks. I mean, they are literally nobodies to you, aye? Oh I would love to read posts about your decoration :) Every fall I get a major decoration inspiration and especially now when I started to use Pinterest :D

    1. I don't think my decoration is that extravagant. We have some bat decals on the wall and some weird bric a brac here and there. I might do a post later on though. I also get inspired during the fall time because that is when the Halloween décor comes up!

  2. When I was a teen and people stared we used to yell at them "take a picture it lasts longer!" I guess that was our snide way to deal with the starers. Nowadays people really do take pictures. I can handle the stares but the sneaky photography really annoys me. Sometimes they are polite and ask first but most of the time they just sneak a photo.

    1. Haha! I remember using that line as a teenager too! I think people do take pictures nowadays thanks to their phones, back then, you had to buy film for the camera and that gets expensive with the developing and all! It pisses me off too when people dont ask for a photo

  3. "Be not another if thou canst be thyself." That's the most important thing to live by, I think. Not always an easy thing, but an important one.

  4. I love when kids like "weird" people, it really seems to take getting older to become judgmental! We need all the weirdos we can get!

  5. People can be so stupid. But I also think that some of them stares because they think you look cool and wish they had your courage!
    I love seeing people with different styles on the street :D



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