Monday, May 2, 2016

Not your typical Mom

"Normal is an illusion. What is normal for the spider is chaos for the fly." - Morticia Addams

I always knew I was not like most people but I always saw myself as a typical mom. After all, I want what most moms want: the best for my child. I did everything I should when I was pregnant, hell, I even stopped smoking a year before we even started trying to conceive! I read extensively on pregnancy, birth, and child rearing. I thought I knew everything until the baby was born and I was hit with several curve balls! I always see myself as a normal person and while I do know deep down I don't follow the flock, there are times, I forget that. Especially when I am around children because while children have a natural curiosity, they don't notice differences and that is why I prefer children to most adults any day. Most children don't discriminate. Last Friday, I came to realization that even as a mom, I am not normal! I will never be a "typical mom"

What happened is that it was my turn to attend my son's school on Friday because every week, a different child becomes a celebrity of the day and it is this huge thing for them. After months of waiting, it was finally Philip's turn! The children are sent home with a book a couple of weeks prior to the event and the parents help them complete all the questionnaires. The child have to write information about themselves and draw a bunch of pictures. After wards, they are encouraged to bring in their favourite objects and items they had as a baby. Not only does the child go through the book with the parent, they show articles they had as a baby in front of the class. It is kind of like a show and tell. The kids talk about the things they like/dislike and their classmates get to know them a bit better.

example from his workbook

Another example. I thought this was cute

Part of my being at his school was to also do a project with the kids. While I originally wanted to do something Earth Day related, Philip had his heart set on making flying saucers He is obsessed with outer space and aliens! I found the project over here on this page!

When I got into his classroom, I took my coat off. I was wearing a simple short-sleeved black dress, leggings and my Docs. A comfortable outfit for working with kids! I forgot about my tattoo and the children gave various reactions. They also noticed my tongue piercing, which most adults never notice and they asked a lot of questions. I am OK with this. Little people are naturally curious and I answered them the best way I could. Philip looked surprised and he told me "I don't think their mommies or daddies have those things and that's weird, mommy"  I can only imagine what those kids told their parents that night!
Philip's project
I also noticed that I was not a typical mom when I stopped for a coffee and a chocolate Nutella croissant before I had to venture into the school. Looking back, I pat myself on the back for this! This was well planned because I needed that caffeine and energy working with all those kids! While I was happily sitting down to a quiet breakfast, I decided to observe my surroundings. Across from me sat a bunch of stay at home moms. I have nothing against women who stay at home. In fact, I am envious because there are many times, I would love to be a stay at home parent too but we don't have the means to do so, unfortunately.  I listened to the moms talk about their kids, gossip about other mothers and talk about the latest health trends that they use in their kids diets. It is hard for me to explain how annoyed I was but I was rolling my eyes the whole time. It was also a defining moment for me. I always knew I was not "normal" but  listening to their jibber jabber about nothing only helped cement that notion. Once I go into the kid's school and saw their reactions over my body mods was also a good indicator that no matter how hard I try to be a "normal" mom, I will never be one!

Don't get me wrong. I have taken Philip to play dates and have conversed with other parents on numerous occasions. We sometimes have the casual jibber jabber and I usually know beforehand how the conversation will go. It is boring but I do it to be polite. Sometimes, if I am lucky, the other parent likes some of the music I listen to or we talk about books, even get into an intellectual conversation. I like those parents yet I don't pick my son's friends. I guess it was a shock for me on Friday to see so many kids surprised that I have tattoos and piercings because I work with heavily tattooed people, I have friends and family members who have tattoos and/or piercings!  It seems like more and more people have tattoos and they are becoming mainstream. To me, it was no big deal.

Even during Philip's presentation after showing his two Halloween costumes when he was a baby,  one of the kids said "wow, they like lots of Halloween stuff." Children asked what Blutengel was when Philip said that he doesn't have a favourite song but he really likes that band. The children asked me tons of questions and I just smiled and said "it's grown up people music" This didn't help because one kid asked if they play it on a popular radio station here in Montreal (Virgin Radio) and I laughed. I never considered that this might be an issue because the people closest to me know who Blutengel is!

I like that we are not a typical family and that we are a bit odd. Pretty much my entire family is weird, just some of us choose to let our freak flags fly a little more! Philip doesn't have much of a chance at normalcy but at least he will grow up with positive, yet quirky role models . I like it that way. It opens his eyes to the world.


  1. Weird families are the best families!! <3

  2. Also you totally inspired me to write a post about this subject!

    1. Please do! I would love to read it!

  3. I think it is great to see people giving kids role models for acceptance and difference. When I hear people saying things like mums shouldn't have big tatts or something like that I roll my eyes. Kids love people who have coloured hair or look like faeries or vampires or aliens! If only everyone could keep that kind of sweetness!

  4. What is this "normal" of which you speak??? ;-) Seriously, what IS it??? I rejoice almost every day that I am NOT.

    And I loved looking at Philip's book and reading the instructions in French! I forgot that you live in Montreal. It's great that he is learning both languages, wish we had that here as well.

  5. Just be "Proud of who you are"



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