Thursday, April 28, 2016

Shenanigan's at mom's house

Warning: Some may find this post offensive!!!!

This is one of my crazy stories. You were forewarned, dear readers! My mom is technically old enough to be my grandmother and she has a character. She turned 79 years old last March and by the way she acts, it would be hard to believe. She can still maintain a house. She still shovels the front stairs and walkway in the winter. She mows the lawn in the summer and she gardens! She has wicked arm muscles and she swears (although she denies using "foul language" as she calls ass!). For instance, everything is a bastard. The dishwasher isn't working...that bastard! Some 'asshole' cuts her off on the road (she still a maniac no less) well she was pretty darned mad at that bastard! She once got so mad over something, she called it a "basting thing" which is now one of my favourite expressions.

There was a time when my husband first met her and thought "oh how cute, a really short, little old grandma" but then she spoke! In fact, something really ticked her off that day and there she was, calling the person a bastard and venting her outrage! We decided to order in some supper from the local restaurant and there she was swearing vengeance on the person who did her wrong. She was pretty ticked off and she was using "foul language" as she calls it and  was dropping F-Bombs left, right, and center. She was saying all this while calling the restaurant to place our order! The moment the restaurant picked up on the other end of the phone, she immediately changed the tone in her voice and she sounded like the cute little old grandma all over again! 

She got pretty sick last winter and asked me to go pay her phone bill. I could not do it online and had to go to her house to get the physical copy of it AND I had to go to the teller. I was not permitted to pay for it by the machine either. She also threatened me and made sure I agreed to get the bank to stamp her copy of the invoice as proof. Here I am, in my mid thirties, and I am still scared shit less of my mom's wrath. There was no way I planned on disrespecting her wishes.  Once I get to the bank and go to the teller, the woman recognizes my mom's name on the invoice. She then comments with a big smile on her face "oh yes, I know your mom. We all do over here. What a funny lady she is and we all heard about you, Sylvie and your little boy. She showed me pictures, he's really cute." That's right. Complete strangers know about me and I bet they know some embarrassing stories about me too!
Mom and Philip.

Thanks to my mom being nutty, I am nutty too and married a man who is also pretty screwy. My mom uses my old Barbie dolls for toilet paper holders. She crochets a dress and we put a spare roll of paper under the dress. Well, my husband, Jay and I decided to leave the doll in naughty positions whenever we would use the facilities at her house. My mom would then see the doll hunched over with her dress hiked and crack up. Sometimes, she would call me to give me shit for it.

We recently did this shenanigan when we had a family reunion a couple of weeks ago. My cousins, aunts, and uncles cracked up! Jay and I were entertained over the reactions whenever a family member would walk out of the washroom. Like always, I get to listen to my mom complain (but we all know she is amused. The smile on her face gives it away) on how my husband and I have a "pervert mind" as she calls it.

My mom thought she would get even with us or "fix our clocks" as she would say. She knitted underwear for the doll. Well this was a gold mine for us! It gave us added ammunition to place the doll in all sorts of naughty positions with her underwear around her ankles (sometimes hidden in the medicine cabinet) My mom claimed on how annoyed she was at us for doing those things but deep down, we know she is amused. In fact, she tells everyone while laughing no less, how much of a pervert mind her daughter and son-in-law has!

To add more ammunition to the ongoing gag, which has been going on for about a decade now (it never gets old) she decided to remove the knitted panties and add some cotton ones. There is a catch:. She had sewn the underwear on so tight and the only way we could remove them would be to cut them off. We know that if we were to cut the underwear off, she would be really pissed off at us! Again, I am a mother myself and I still fear my mom's wrath. I will not go there!  She fixed our clock, alright!
Photo courtesy of my Cousin Laura, taken during our family get together.

Photo courtesy of my Cousin Laura. We changed position during the course of the night!

I am grateful for a mom that has a warped sense of humour and hope that one day. my son will be able to share similar stories about us! Life is too short to take things seriously all the time.My mom is proof of that. We maybe a little weird and not your typical family but I am ok with that. Normality was never for me anyway!

Wednesday, April 27, 2016

The bats are in the TARDIS !

Goth Gardener introduced me to Etsy store The Occasional Bat and I have been hooked ever since. Do you remember last December when I made a wish list for 2016? On that list, I wrote that I wanted to purchase more plush bats. A little over a week ago, I decided that my wish list needed to be fulfilled and I made a purchase from The Occasional Bat as a special treat. For those wondering what exactly is The Occasional Bat...well they make plush bats designed for every occasion! They have all sorts and I wish I could buy them all! You can should go visit their Etsy store. These bats are well made and very cute! The moment I saw the Exploding TARDIS bat, it had to be mine!

How cool is that? Two of my most favourite things mashed into one. Squeee!

Philip who is also a lover of bats got his own baby bat!

Like always, when ordering from The Occasional Bat, the items come well packaged, you even get a little certificate with the name of your bat and a little extra something to keep your bats company while they are being shipped to you.

Over the weekend, I went to Ikea and adopted these silly little guys (see picture below). They were just crying for a new home and I happily obliged. Philip and I have a thing. I am Mamma Bat and he is Philly Bat. He used to be baby bat but he is too big for that now, according to him.He is too young to get the whole Goth Baby Bat thing but hopefully he will one day! I got a large and small bat for me (to represent Philip and I), another large and small one for Philip so he can think of me and him. I had to get a large one for Jay because who wouldn't want to receive a cute bat plush?

As a bonus, here is my baby Philly Bat sound asleep. He is hugging his beloved Mr. Monkey but next to him are his favourite stuffed animals.

1) Buy a pair of Winklepicker boots. 
(2) Buy a coffin purse/backpack 
(3) Buy more long skirts 
(4) Buy some good blazers 
(5) Get more ink  
(6) Get my ears and labret (lip) re-pierced
(7)  Buy some more coffin and bat jewellery - I need more!
(8) Bat plushies because who doesn't have enough of those, right?
(9) Get a daith piercing

Monday, April 25, 2016

Bullies are a pain in the neck

"...When they scream and when they yell
And tear you down
They make your life a living hell
When they come 'round
There's nothing you can say
That doesn't contradict them,
'Cause all they want's a victim
On which to vent their rage
It's just not fair, you don't deserve it."
- Aurelio Voltaire, Innocent

I apologize for my lack of posting. Last week was a very difficult week for me. I had severe neck pain and I ended up going to the clinic for some pain meds. I will also be starting physiotherapy soon.  I still don't feel 100% pain free but at least I can function!

This is a what is going on in my life sort of post and it is really about my son Philip being bullied at school. Over the past couple of months, Philip went from being an excellent student to not wanting to participate in class, not wanting to do his work, complaining about feeling sick so he could get out of class and being just plain moody. I knew he was being bullied. These are the classic signs.

Philip has been bullied by this little boy in his class since the beginning of school. The thing is, Philip has a lot of friends but for some reason, Philip is being targeted. There was a point, every morning, he did not want to go to school. When the bully resorted to physical violence, Philip defended himself. In fact, the bully got his ass kicked twice! I know I probably shouldn't be proud of this but I am! I never heard from the school about these incidents either and Philip did tell me that he didn't get in trouble because the bully threw the first punch! It appeared that everything has settled down for about a week or two then all of a sudden, Philip comes home with a bump on his head and a huge cut. Turns out, he got into some sort of argument with the bully. The kid pushed Philip into a shelf. He fell and items that were on the shelf came crashing down around him. I asked Philip what happened after wards. He said the bully got sent to the office and the teacher left a note for his parents. In fact, Philip said that the kid always gets in trouble for something.

Things settled down for a few months until one day, I bought Philip this little Incredible Hulk ornament to hang off his school bag. He thought that was the next best thing since sliced bread. In fact, he wanted one because his best friend has an Iron Man hanging off his school bag! They are now part of the Avengers Team! A few days later, Philip comes home and the Hulk is gone. He told me that the bully cut the Hulk off of his bag. I think this was his breaking point.

Philip always had a temper. He can go from a 1 to 10 in a matter of seconds. He has tantrums, he screams, and he can get violent. He reminds me of Stitch from the Disney movie "Lilo and Stitch" In fact, I even bought him a Stitch Pop Figurine for Christmas.  I know this bullying isn't the sole reason for Philip's aggressive behavior but it is definitely part of the equation. I got the school psychologist involved because his teacher and I suspected he might have a spectrum disorder. The psychologist thinks he just has to learn to control his anger. In fact, he is one of the youngest in the school since his birthday is in September. Most kids are turning 6 years old in kindergarten and he turned 5 at the beginning of the school year. This could also be part of the reason. He is still very young and has trouble using his words when he is angry. I asked for help with this because I want to work on his anger issues now while he is still young. Philip is a mini-me. We bottle things up until we explode. My teenaged years were filled with angst, depression and two botched suicide attempts. I do not want Philip to be like me when he gets older. I am giving him tools the best way I can in order to help him control his emotions better.

This is stitch!
This is also where I got the image!

Not only did I miss two days of work because I was in incredible pain from my back, I had to take Philip to get new glasses. In his rage last Thursday, he broke his new pair. What happened, he brought a ball to school. He leaves it out in the hallway in his cubby with his coat. The bully gets in trouble, the teacher sends him to time out in the hallway. Philip flips out because he is afraid the bully is going to either break or steal his ball. I don't blame Philip considering the bully broke his Incredible Hulk ornament in the past. Philip actually stood in the doorway and tried his best to not let the bully and teacher out of the classroom. Philip then ran into the washroom (they have one of them in the class) and locked himself in, screaming uncontrollably. He refused to let himself out despite both his teacher and vice-principal telling him to unlock the door. I have to admit, that kid has guts because he actually told the Vice Principal that he wasn't coming out! The only reason why he unlocked the door was because they told him they were going to call me to come bring him home.

I had two meetings with the Vice-Principal. One was a brief one on Thursday. I met her again on Friday morning. Again, I was in pain, I looked like a mess but I went anyways in my jogging pants and my husband's oversized t-shirt. I also reeked of Rub A5 3-5 ointment I put on my back. I didn't care and the school knew I hurt my back. This time, I met with the Vice-Principal, the teacher's aide and the school psychologist.

I explained that I agree, Philip has a temper. I get it. We are working on it. I went into details on how I handle him at home. I also did explain that this bully is not helping the situation. He is not entirely to blame for Philip's angry outbursts but the bully is definitely part of the equation. I explained everything I just wrote here. I was then asked why I didn't call the school to complain. I said "there are two reasons. First, I don't want to be THAT parent who calls to complain about every little thing. I am Philip's mom and it is my job to he a parent, not the school's.  I took this as a learning opportunity and we talked about this at home together. We read books on bullying and had discussions. In fact, I have a zero tolerance to bullying. When Philip was bullying his bully because he resulted to that tactic as means for survival, I made him write a letter of apology to the kid. I wanted to wait until I exhausted all of my resources before coming to you.  I should have perhaps spoke up beforehand because now this has obviously gotten out of control. The second reason: What could you do about it? I know the bully was sent to the Vice Principal's office and was sent home with letters to his parents. You did that with my kid. I know you did the same with the bully. It's none of my business whether or not the bully's parents have addressed this or not with their kid. I am Philip's mom. It is my job to be a parent and this is why I am here now. To take care of this because I have exhausted all my resources. Now it is up to you to tell me what you are going to do to help Philip and I with regards to this situation"

While Philip may have a temper, just like Stitch, he also has a kind, soft and cute side.
This is where I got the image

I don't know about you, dear readers but back in my day, the bully always seemed to get off the hook and the victim was the one who got in trouble. I am pleased to write that this appears to no longer  be the case. I like to think it was my super Mom abilities during the meeting but it is most probably because the bully is known for being a trouble maker.  Philip now has a safe place to go to  in his school provided he does his work he is supposed to be doing in class. You see, since the whole school bag ornament incident, Philip refused to do any work while he was in the classroom. The teacher's aide began to help him and he took a liking to her. As a reward, if Philip does his work in class and does not have a meltdown, he can go to the teacher's aide's office to listen to classic music, draw or play with some of the toys there. This removes him from his bully and he has a reward for good behavior. It is comforting to know that he has so much support and the teacher's aide appeared ready and willing to be in his corner, backing him up. She attested that normally Philip is really well behaved but does have a huge temper when provoked but he is no way naturally aggressive towards people.

 On Friday afternoon, the school called me but I was asleep. They called Jay who later told me that Philip claimed he was not feeling well. He was sent down to the office. The Vice-Principal had a feeling that it was something else and not really a physical ailment. She invited him to her office to colour, read books and play with her Pete The Cat plush. He didn't stay long and returned to his class. He also did his work like he was supposed to and got rewarded by going to the teacher's aide's office that afternoon to listen to classical music!

I feel sorry for Philip, I really do. It hurts me that my little guy has to go through this. Over the past weekend, I bought him a dragon plush because he wanted to take his favourite Monkey stuffed animal to school. He never asked for Monkey until very recently. That broke my heart but I did not allow him to bring Monkey. I was afraid that he would forget it there and he wont sleep without it.

Mr. Monkey in cake form. It was for Philip's first birthday. I went a wee bit overboard.

I explained to Philip that the dragon can stay in his bag. At recess or lunch or after school, if he needs comfort, he has something cuddly to soothe him. I felt like a new plush would be more appealing to him than allowing him to take something he already owns. I also took him out for ice cream for lunch, then hot chocolate at Starbucks and we had Mcdonald's for supper. He saw these robot dudes while we were purchasing his dragon. He also ended up getting them. I used the excuse that I treated myself to two Pop Figurines so it is only fair he got a treat.  He "needed" summer clothes. He really did need shorts but he has plenty t-shirts....but.... it is not my fault that a Ninja Turtle, a Lego one, an Avengers one and a Legend Of Zelda shirt made its way home too. I didn't just buy him things to make him feel better. We spent all day together, just the two of us and we had tons of quality time. We went to the library, we played outside in our backyard, we watched a movie together too. We talked about silly things and he was happy to have his mom all to himself. He told me that his favourite part of the day was that he had "Mommy Philly time" and he got to eat ice cream for lunch! I am surprised I was able to do all that with my sore back but I did! It is amazing what we can manage to do for our kids when we know they are hurting!

Best lunch ever!

On Sunday, I went to Ikea with my niece Lori. Jay bonded with Philip for the afternoon while I was getting lost in Ikea and they did "cool guy stuff" which translated as rough housing and probably going to the playground. He ended up getting two plush bats out of the five I purchased. He got two to represent a mommy bat and a smaller one to represent the baby. We have a thing, I am mama bat and he is Philly bat (used to be my baby bat but he is no longer a baby according to him. He doesn't quite get the whole goth baby bat phase yet) Another large bat and baby bat were for me, This also was to represent me and him. Jay doesn't quite fit in this whole Mommy Philly bat equation, that's ok. He has his own thing with his dad but Jay got a large bat nonetheless because who doesn't need a bat plush?

My shopping cart full of bats. Squeee!

I am looking at this as a learning opportunity for Philip.. As much as I want to put him in a bubble or go into "mama bear" mode, I am remaining as calm as I can be with this situation. In reality, my anxiety is high and I really didn't want to send him back to school this morning. I am using this as a teaching tool instead because we all know that this will help him deal with difficult situations or people later on in life. Being a parent is the hardest job I ever have but I think I am doing the right thing.  I also decided I wont be so hard on Philip. I will try to access the situation and punish accordingly. I don't want him to think that he is getting away with things because he is being bullied. On the other hand,  I also don't want to go too hard on him and he will be afraid to come to me in the future about these types of problems. It is a tough juggling act. Sometimes you have practice tough love, after all, there is a reason why the mama bird kicks the baby bird out of the nest. All I can do is give him tools to control his temper, to be supportive of him, to give him courage, to love him with all my heart and to have his back so he can survive the remainder of the school year. My poor little bat.

To end this post on a positive note, Philip did go to school today. He had an excellent day. He was all smiles when I got home. He told me that the teacher moved his seat further away from the bully and he did his work like he was supposed to. Apparently, the bully did pick on him AGAIN (when will this kid learn, seriously?) but Philip retaliated by picking on him too and it ended there.

 I just want to take a moment to thank you, dear readers, for reading this very lengthy post and to also say thanks in advance for your support. It was very therapeutic for me to sit here and write this all down.


Thursday, April 21, 2016

The Bats have left the belltower

The weather is starting to get warmer and if you remember my post where I mentioned spring, you would remember my cute bat knee highs.

I forgot how annoying wearing stockings can be. I spent my day pulling them up and un-rolling them but it was all worth it. Those bats were cute!

I did not want the stockings to be the main focal point of my outfit considering I wore it to work. I thought by combining the stockings with a below the knee skirt was a nice compromise.

It was not t-shirt weather when we took these photos on Monday. In fact, it was quite chilly but I wanted outdoor photos! As you can see in the background, Philip is also quite content for spring!

Spring is time for new beginnings and I am relieved to announce that my particularly difficult downstairs neighbor is being evicted. I feel sorry for him, I really do but having him around was a bit worrisome. He is mentally disabled and when he goes off his meds, things can get a little scary around here. When we first moved in, I guess we made noises he was not accustomed to and he believed we were spying on him by using electronic devices. He used to get into screaming matches with his girlfriend. I think eventually she got tired of him and moved out. Since January, the police had to come on three separate occasions! They had to break his door in order to get inside his apartment and he was escorted out by a police officer into an ambulance. Personally, I have nothing against the mentally ill. When he did take his meds, he was very polite and friendly. In fact, he was really nice and was a good conversationalist. On the other hand, there were times I was a little worried when he went off his meds because I have a small child to look after. Thankfully, his angry outbursts were never directed at us and they happened while my little one was a asleep. I am so thankful that my kid takes after me and can sleep through a nuclear explosion! I am proud that I didn't keep the house quiet whenever Philip napped as a baby! I know I could have moved but I love my home and the location.  If I felt targeted, perhaps it would have been a different story. I think in the end, he was more afraid of us than we were of him.

Monday, April 18, 2016

Product review: Hard Candy lipstick

This image is not mine. I got it off of the Hard Candy website

*** This is NOT a sponsored post. I tried a new product and I think others could benefit from this review so I want to post about it. I am so sweet, eh????****
I was looking for a new shade of lipstick and I came across Hard Candy Prowler #1051 lipstick and I fell in love with the color. It is a darker shade but still suitable enough for the office.

I don't quite remember the cost of the lipstick but I remember it being reasonably priced.

I have to admit, not only the color of the lipstick itself is what sold me on it. I love the little tube it comes in!

I usually put this on in the morning and I would need to reapply by lunch time, which is fine by me. This is usually after one or two cups of coffee and eating my lunch. Not bad for a non color stay lip stick. By mid morning, the lipstick has faded but it gives my lips a more natural yet more pronounced, darker tone.

I really do love this product and regret not getting the black lipstick while I was there.




Friday, April 15, 2016

Beautiful "Butterflies"

"She is flying
Soaring through the air up there
My butterfly
In the sky she loves to fly from way up high
My butterfly
Floating in the sky
Is her state of mind
She is flying
Soaring through the air up there
My butterfly" - Switchblade Symphony, Cocoon

A couple of years ago, I believe it was in 2012, I purchased from the local Goth shop a grey Sourpuss shirt that had black bats printed on it.  Like most major label goth brands, a lot of the clothing doesn't last long despite the expensive price tag. I wore the shirt a handful of times and perhaps it was the way I washed it but the bats faded rather quickly. I was disappointed because that shirt was one of my favourites!

I remember keeping the shirt. I have it stashed somewhere, I am too lazy to actually go look for it but since I wanted to show you what it looked like, I decided to do a quick Google Image search . I immediately noticed that the lovely Meagan Kyla from the Blog Coffin Kitsch showed up in the search results wearing the exact same shirt! I love this girl's style and if you want to know what the shirt looks like, I am just going to nudge you all over to her blog post. She wears it much better than I ever did.

A couple of weeks ago, my good friend Alan once again referred me to an online bargain! I am so lucky to have my own personal bargain hunter! Keep up the good work, Alan!

The moment I saw this black and purple bat print shirt, I was in love.  It also reminds me of a funny story I would like to share with you all. Don't you love it when your clothing has a funny story behind it?

The story takes place when I wore that original grey Sourpuss shirt to work, in fact, this was well before the bats faded and the shirt was still new.

I work as a receptionist and this really nice elderly lady walked in. After I greeted her, she began to compliment me. She told me that I looked pretty and that she loves my style. What she said next took a huge effort on my part to not laugh: "What a wonderful t-shirt you got there. Look at all those beautiful butterflies" I just smiled and thanked her for the compliments. I did not have the heart to tell her that they were actually bats.

Well dear readers, here is my new beautiful "butterfly" shirt.

The shirt was purchased off of ebay. If you want to purchase it, here is the link!

Despite the item shipping from overseas, the shipping cost to Canada was very reasonable. The item came well packaged and in excellent condition. It didn't take too long to get here either. The shirt I identical to what is seen on the website and the overall cost is reasonable. I would definitely buy from this seller again.

Wednesday, April 13, 2016

An open letter to my former teenaged self

There were many factors behind the inspiration for this post. One of them was due to an old acquaintance wanting to reconnect with me after years of absence. Another inspiration was a drama-filled post I wrote about the mistakes I made as baby bat. Finally, one of the fellow Betties N' Brimstone bloggers called Jenny wrote a very sincere blog post. It was a letter to her 16 year old self and it was very thought provoking

By following Jenny's lead, I am going to write my very own open letter to my former younger, angsty teenaged self. Hold on tight folks and here it goes:

 Dear Baby Bat Sylvie,

Back in your day, there was no term "baby bat" but you were pretty much a Marilyn Manson spooky kid  until some friends introduced you to goth. I am sure you would prefer to be called Baby Bat. It is endearing, isn't it? Don't make that face at me, you know it is!

Several things happened to you as a teenager and I want to touch base with you about those:

(1) I know sometimes the inner pain is so bad and perhaps not everyone understands you but please don't cut yourself. One day, you are going to have a wonderful little boy who will ask you about those scars.

(2) That guy that dumped you - over the phone no less. Get over him. You deserve better.

(3) No matter what people say about you or how they try to get you to undermine your self-worth, they have no power over you. You decide your fate. You decide your worth.  Fuck them!

(4) You tried to give up. You were put in the hospital on suicide watch. Don't. Life is worth living. You may think that you have nothing to live for but trust me, life gets better after high school. You won't see it now, you may not see it in the near future but you will be free one day. One day, you will look back at this and cry because you could never imagine hurting yourself. The very thought of it will bring you to tears.

(5) Listen to your parents about some of your boyfriends. You can avoid a lot of heartbreak that way.

(6) Speaking of parents. Dad can be too strict and a pain in the ass. As much as you may think otherwise, he does it out of love. It is because you mean the world to him. One day he won't be around anymore and you will miss him looking out for you. Go hug him and tell him that you love him. Oh and most importantly, DON'T HIT HIM UP FOR MONEY AFTER YOU DO SO!!! If he offers you some because you hit a soft spot, don't take it. He needs to know that you love him unconditionally and you know deep down that you do. Don't you roll your eyes at me! I can kick your ass!

(7) That pain in the ass guy at your school, Jay? Be nicer to him. Ignore him for now. He has some growing up to do. Trust me. Yes, dad was right. You should be careful on what you say about him. You did end up marrying the pain in the ass! In fact, your tarot cards were right.

(8) Mom loves you. She just doesn't know how to say it or show it.

(9) Some people you think are your friends ...they really are not very good ones.  Another thing you should listen to your parents on.

(10) Don't smoke, drink responsibly and while it maybe fun now, drugs are bad!

and as a bonus:

(11) You may not realize it now but you may reconnect with some people from your past one day who did value you as a person and they are going to be people you would have never thought  in a million years that you impacted in such a positive way.  Don't be surprised when someone told you that you changed their life or the way they view things for the better. You, being a broken soul yourself recognizes other broken souls. Despite how horrible humanity can be and how horrible humanity was to you, you didn't turn your cheek and found beauty in the dark places. Embrace that. You are that light in the darkness. Also realize that some people will see that light and want it for themselves. Be careful who you give your light to. The ones who really need it will make themselves known. Love yourself and take care of yourself because you will be able to take care of others that way. You will be surprised just how many people will come around when you are at your lowest too. Embrace those people and don't push them away. Let them hold you up.

... and for the grand finale,... here is good ole # 12 - Don't try piercing your nose yourself in order to piss off Mom and Dad. They get it. You are anti-religious. They didn't want you to celebrate Easter with them because of the religious implications, they just wanted to spend time with you. Don't ruin their day (or that nice huge supper mom spent the day preparing for you) by a stupid act of rebellion. Karma got the best of you when it got infected. Looking back, I don't feel sorry for you!

As you see, later on in life, things will get better if you really want them to and you will be able to laugh at the difficult times and appreciate the happy ones better. Never let go of that sarcasm or dark humour. It will get you through the rough times. Trust me.


To end this post. I would like to point out that this is why I burned the poetry I wrote in my adolescence, why I don't really have photos of me from that time of my life and why I don't look back. I look ahead.

So while I cannot show you an awkward adolescent photo of me or share some badly written poetry I once wrote,  I can show you a quirky fairly recent photo of me instead.  This is how I want to be remembered. This is who I am now and probably who I will be later on!

Monday, April 11, 2016

Work and budget friendly makeup

I remember being afraid to over do things at my job, especially in the makeup department, yet I was never the one that did crazy makeup (aside from my early goth days when I looked like a mime but that is another story)

 As a working mom, I need to find articles that not only fit my tight budget but save precious time in the morning. I am one of those vain people who never leave the house without makeup unless I am really sick. If I am simply running to the store for a loaf of bread or something, I still put lipstick on!

 My hair is growing fast. I really love my Cleopatra cut and am unsure whether or not I should grow it out and make another donation to Locks of Love or chop it off! I do like the shoulder length on me. I sometimes tie it up and play around with it. Here is something I experimented with the other day. I like it.

I want to show everyone that while I may not do any extreme makeup styles, I stay true to my style and budget! I can't justify spending a large sum of money on a designer lipstick knowing that I have mouths to feed! I like to wear this to work. Simple yet elegant and not too much for me to handle first thing in the morning!

These are the products I used:

From top to bottom:

Garnier Skin Renew Anti-Puff Roller - The thingy in the green tube! Another working mom in your mid-thirties must have. I love this during allergy season too!

Covergirl Ready Set Gorgeous under the eye concealer - I use this to help cover the dark circles under my eyes. I don't sleep enough (got to love kids, who needs an alarm clock, right?). This is my best friend.

Maybelline Great Lash Mascara - To me mascara is mascara. I really don't care about the brands. As long as it fits my budget.

Marcelle retractable eyeliner - I am assuming this is a store generic brand. I don't really care about eyeliners (which I use on my eyebrows) as long as they are retractable!

Rimell liquid eyeliner - Reasonably priced and goes on really well. It lasts all day and makes my blue eyes pop! I love this stuff!
L'Oreal BB cream #810 for pale skin - I have not seen this in pharmacies the past few months. I think it is discontinued. This rots my socks because I love this stuff. I bought 12 bottles of it at the L'Oreal sale (it was half price) and I am running out soon. What a shame. Some people use this as a cover up. I use it as a primer. It leaves my skin super soft and my makeup lasts all day. In fact, before I took these photos, I only re-applied some lipstick. I applied my makeup around 7am and the photos were probably taken around 6 or 7pm. This is close to 12 hours!

Stargazer dry pressed white foundation. I started using this two years ago and I have never looked back. I love this stuff! I often order from E-bay and was lucky enough to find this for about $10.00 Canadian (sometimes less) with shipping! I sometimes see other brands (such as Covergirl) on sale at the store for less but I love this brand and cannot find anything else pale enough for my natural skin tone. The BB cream underneath helps it stay put too!
NYC  twist-able lip color in #040 red - I liked the shade and I was on a budget when I bought it. I am almost finished and bought a new lipstick. Stay tuned for a review!

Friday, April 8, 2016

Sylvie's word of the day

For as long as I can remember, I loved to read and write. One of the reasons for starting this blog was to indulge in my passion for writing. When I was pregnant for Philip, I bought him his first book. In fact, it was one of my childhood favorites. The book is called "Where The Wild Things Are" By Maurice Sendak. The artwork is brilliant and the story always made me smile. I used to read this to him while he was still in my womb!

Photo taken from

There was a time, where he requested books for Christmas and 90% of the gifts he received that year were books. He was happy with his haul and indulged in his books. He has a huge bookshelf filled with them and he "reads" every one of them. We read to him almost every night too and we are so proud that he has inherited our love of books. I love being a reading family!

In my childhood, reading was an escape from life's problems. I was bullied and I was not always happy at home. It was my escape from that reality. Reading got me though some of the happiest and most difficult times in my life. For a long time, I always had a book in my hand. I have stopped reading since I had Philip. I find this sad and am starting to read again! I plan on reading on my lunch hour at work and when Philip goes to sleep. Having a small child around can be a huge pain in the ass. Just when I think he is perfectly happy and distracted playing with his toys, the moment I start reading a few words, he comes and interrupts me. I try to ask him not to do so but it doesn't always work. My husband tries to take care of him in order to give me some down time but he wants me. I am thinking of reading in the bath. I just need to make sure he uses the washroom before I go take my bath. I am going to find time to read, dammit!

What sprung this on was the fact that I need to find babysitting arrangements for the summer when school is out. My mom graciously volunteered to help but I do not want her to have to watch him all summer. He is a lot of energy and I am sure she would find it difficult at her age. I see how tired (but happy) she is at the end of the day when I go pick up Philip after work. There are summer camps organized by the city borough. I just need to get a special card proving he is a resident of the city. For those wondering, this is not a sleep away camp. It is a day camp where children get to play and do all sorts of fun activities during the summer months when school is closed. It is super expensive and I am so grateful that my mom can watch him for a few weeks, otherwise, all my disposable income will be going towards camp. I cant afford to go anywhere this year but there are places locally I want to take Philip!

In order to get this special card which also can be used as a library card, you can either go to city hall during working hours or to the local library that is open on weekends.

Fortunately for me, we have two libraries in our borough! One is in walking distance from my house. I am so lucky! Saturday morning, Philip and I ventured off to the local library. It is quite a small library with not a lot of selection in books, especially in English but we can reserve books from other libraries in Montreal at no extra fee and they will have them delivered to our local library!  The downstairs area is the kid's section and we were so thrilled. They have computers, videogames, a huge selection of DVDs and obviously tons of books you can borrow. They even have an activity room. We arrived too late because they were just finishing up an craft activity and it looked like fun! I have not stepped into a library in years, I forgot how cool they are!

Philip got his own card with his picture and got to take out a couple of books. I also took out two for me!. I am glad we have a new family tradition that also enables us to stick within a budget we set for ourselves. I am going to need to save money to pay for Philips summer camp AND vacation AND my new tattoo AND Jays new computer. Philip is happy because he gets a constant cycle of' "new" books to read.

 Here are some of the books we took out:

Wednesday, April 6, 2016

How goth helped me redefine friendship and how I got over losing my best friend

I am aware I am not the only one who has encountered these situations, I bet a lot of teenagers are experiencing something similar at this very moment. I am pretty sure that most teenagers are worried about how their families (and I suppose friends) will accept their new found goth identity. Personally and fortunately for me,  my teenaged self never really had this issue. I never had to come out of any proverbial goth closet. I always wore freaky clothing and had a penchant for the darker things in life. My mom never really cared. My dad didn't like it when I shaved the sides of my head but welcomed the romatigoth look. One of my siblings thought it was hilarious to call me "Morticia" or "Elvira" until I pointed out that I thought they were very beautiful women and it was a huge ass compliment. My friends never cared and were probably not surprised to see me go full out goth. Some of my friends liked to tease me but it was all in friendly good fun. They used to tell me that they were going to throw holy water on me to see what would happen! Some people have their sad teenaged stories but I cannot relate to those.

This post is more about on how I view relationships now, as an adult. I once posted about how some people unfriended me when I came back to goth but there was one friendship in particular that stood out. I lost my best friend.

I was reminded of this drama very recently and this is all thanks to my Time Hop app I have on my phone. Essentially, this app gives you old Facebook photos and statuses, Tweets and various forms of social media you posted to on that particular day X amount of years ago.The status about my best friend unfriending me came up.

Here is a time hop example.
I still remember the last time I saw her. This was several years ago. In fact, it was after over a year of absence from her life. It was awkward. I randomly bumped into her. My husband noticed the tension between us too. He said afterwards that you could have cut it with a butter knife.

 I think it was not long after that final awkward encounter she unfriended me from Facebook. According to some people, she told them I was too weird for her and she didn't want to associate with people like me.

What saddened me was the fact there were no good byes, no explanations from the both of us. In other words: there was no closure. I felt even worse because it took me a few months to even notice that she unfriended me from Facebook! We once loved each other very much and there was a time we confided our deepest, darkest secrets in each other.

As much as I want to solely put the blame on her because I came back to goth, I can't. I was a horrible friend too and I need to acknowledge that. 

Yes, perhaps she may have judged me and ditched me because I started dressing goth again. I get that. What a bitch!  In situations like these, I don't always look at what was done to me but what I have done to the other person. So while I would like to scream my outrage and play victim,  I was a pretty shitty friend to her. My life went off in all sorts of wonderful directions, I forgot about her in the process. She never changed, she remained stagnant and well, boy, did I ever change!  Some people simply grow apart. It was the fact that we labelled each other best friends and I just simply dropped her.

Reading that time-hop was good for me because it enabled me to realize just how much I have grown since then. I also learned a valuable lesson: When I tell someone that they are my friend or family, I mean it. It made me realize that I should not just nonchalantly throw those words around either.  Now I make sure that if I should call someone a friend, I would treat them better. I would also be a little more selective with whom I decide to have a personal friendship with as well. While I originally thought I was grieving over the loss of our friendship, I came to realize I was sad over the fact there was no closure. I decided to move on and nurture my current friendships I have around me. No use crying over spilled milk as they say.

Speaking of Friendships, not long after I came back to Goth, I got acquainted with someone online. Years have gone by since then and I am very fortunate to have became friends with this person. Why is it that the coolest people live so frigging far away? I just want to say thanks. I wish we had some Star Trek teleportation device (beam me up, Scotty!) to facilitate hanging out with each other because we both live on the opposite sides of the planet. Not only do we confide in one and other, we also share fashion advice, Fandoms, video-games, you name it! In fact, this person got me reacquainted with Doctor Who! You know who you are!

Today, many people have come and gone from my life and I am OK with that. In fact, I welcome it. The people who matter are still part of my life and for that, I am thankful. I am ever so grateful for having such positive, intelligent, open-minded people in my life that while they may not always agree with my point of view or lifestyle, they want me around nonetheless. Those are the people who matter.These are the people I invest in!

My niece and I celebrating my birthday at the Doctor Who Concert.

Monday, April 4, 2016

Philip got new glasses

Hope you all enjoyed my April Fool's prank on Friday :)

A couple of weeks ago, Philip broke his glasses...again! You have no idea how much money we spent on new frames this past year. Considering he needed to get his eyes re-tested, we told him to choose a different set of frames but they cannot be in plastic anymore. We are hoping  a metal frame would be more solid. I know, it is wishful thinking!

Personally, I like the new pair much better than the last ones but I am a firm believer in allowing children to make their own decisions. He liked the old glasses and they made him happy. On the other hand, I prefer the new model because he used to look like Austin Powers or my Brad Majors Pop figurine!
Here is a comparison!

A friend of mine recently asked me about how I discovered Philip having vision problems. My answer is quite simple: I kept noticing him squinting or moving up real close to look at an object. We knew he needed them!

I love how technology has enabled us to detect vision problems at such a young age. I was told by my ophthalmologist that since it was detected early, Philip may not need glasses when he gets older. I remember when I was a kid, we were around 9 or 10 years by the time we got glasses and now I am seeing babies with them! Every night for over an hour, we were asked to put a patch on his right eye. This will help strengthen his left eye.  This helps improve his eyesight! In fact, the new prescription is not as strong as the last one! Apparently, Philip has really bad eyesight so this is such a relief!

Without further adieu, here is my baby bat in his new glasses:

Friday, April 1, 2016

I will no longer be blogging.

Alright Darklings,

This will be my last blog post. A dark culture magazine has made me a generous offer to buy out my blog and they will be using some of my articles in some of their issues. They will also be updating this site on my behalf.

I have truly enjoyed interacting with you and reading your comments and I want to thank you all for such a great blogging experience


Happy Friday and happy April Fools Day, Darklings! We will get back to our regular scheduled program on Monday!

Love, Sylvie


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