Thursday, March 3, 2016
Living with migraines and being a mom
Being a migraineur as they call it can be very frustrating and it is very common for migraine sufferers like myself to also get depression. Seriously, who wouldn't be depressed when they are frequently in pain? For myself personally, I am recovering from a bout of depression as I was hit with a daily migraine for the past couple of days. I would like to thank the changes in barometric pressure for that! know some people out there have them more often than I do and some people might not find pain relief the way I do. I know I should be grateful but I am not. I know that there are much worse things that could happen to me too and I should be thankful for what I have but I am not.
There is always something. On the many days and lucky for me, there are more good than bad, I wonder what will happen next. Will it be a good day? Will I be able to physically do the things I should be doing? Every single day I watch for warning signs and pray I have not forgotten my meds at home should I be hit with a migraine while I am out somewhere.
The migraine isn't over when the pain is gone. For at least twenty four hours afterwards I am walking around in a haze. I forget things, I tire easily. I feel ripped off because I feel like I have a hangover without the night of drinking!
You know something? I still go to work. I still smile and act like everything is ok but let me tell you the truth. Many times, things are not ok. I can have neck and shoulder pain for days after a migraine. I feel like a drug addict with some of the pain meds I sometimes take in order to function.
I often deal with guilt. You don't know how many times I had to tell my son I couldn't play with him or take him places I promised to bring him because I have a migraine. I don't know what hurts the most; his visible disappointment or attempts at making me feel better because he doesn't like seeing his mommy like this. Which also makes me wonder whether or not I should have anymore kids?
We all got our stack of cards to deal with and there are times, like most people, I really dislike mine. Especially this time of the year where I seem to get a lot more migraines thanks to the drastic weather changes..Some people struggle with mental illness, some with chronic pain and it just sucks. If anyone out there reading this feels like I do, I got your back!