Thursday, March 3, 2016

Living with migraines and being a mom


Being a migraineur as they call it can be very frustrating and it is very common for migraine sufferers like myself to also get depression. Seriously, who wouldn't be depressed when they are frequently in pain? For myself personally, I am recovering from a bout of depression as I was hit with a daily migraine for the past couple of days. I would like to thank the changes in barometric pressure for that! know some people out there have them more often than I do and some people might not find pain relief the way I do. I know I should be grateful but I am not. I know that there are much worse things that could happen to me too and I should be thankful for what I have but I am not.

There is always something. On the many days and lucky for me, there are more good than bad, I wonder what will happen next. Will it be a good day? Will I be able to physically do the things I should be doing? Every single day I watch for warning signs and pray I have not forgotten my meds at home should I be hit with a migraine while I am out somewhere.

The migraine isn't over when the pain is gone. For at least twenty four hours afterwards I am walking around in a haze. I forget things, I tire easily. I feel ripped off because I feel like I have a hangover without the night of drinking!

You know something? I still go to work. I still smile and act like everything is ok but let me tell you the truth. Many times, things are not ok. I can have neck and shoulder pain for days after a migraine. I feel like a drug addict with some of the pain meds I sometimes take in order to function.

 I often deal with guilt. You don't know how many times I had to tell my son I couldn't play with him or take him places I promised to bring him because I have a migraine. I don't know what hurts the most; his visible disappointment or  attempts at making me feel better because he doesn't like seeing his mommy like this. Which also makes me wonder whether or not I should have anymore kids?

We all got our stack of cards to deal with and there are times, like most people, I really dislike mine. Especially this time of the year where I seem to get a lot more migraines thanks to the drastic weather changes..Some people struggle with mental illness, some with chronic pain and it just sucks. If anyone out there reading this feels like I do, I got your back!

8 comments:

  1. I used to get migraines as a teenager so I know how shitty they can be. Luckily they are a rare occurrence for me now, so I can't imagine how hard it must be as a working mother to have to deal with it. I get the mummy guilt thing, it must be shitty to not be able to do anything about it and feel bad for your son :( you are a fighter though if anything. Sending hugs to you x

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    1. Thank you very much! I think we all get mummy guilt from time to time and we shouldn't always beat ourselves up for it either (although easier said than done!) I am glad you get less migraines now, I wouldnt wish them on anyone.

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  2. My mother used to have migraines, used to be about every 3 or 4 weeks, she would be in bed for two days and the room stunk of vinegar, there was no meds for migraines in them days. The strange thing was that they stopped about the time she was diagnosed with cancer.

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    1. Oh jeez, I am sorry about your mum.

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  3. I don't get migraines. However, I do get hit with bouts of depression. It's a horrible feeling.

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  4. Migraines are horrible. I very seldom have some and the short ones I have then make me crazy. Then there's chronic pain: I tried to commit suicide twice in 2014 because I had the symptoms of a UTI without the UTI (it was a psychiatric issue) for almost all of the aforementioned year. No treatment could cure it. It just passed and I survived and now I am starting from scratch. So I do feel for you. Your pain must be taken seriously.

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  5. Holy shit! I am glad that you are better now and i feel for you too. I am so sorry to hear that you went through that. If you ever need a friend or someone to vent to, please email me.

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