Wednesday, February 24, 2016

I am no longer a feminist


The first two waves of feminism had great initiative. I am grateful to all those women before us who fought hard for our basic rights. I do acknowledge that in many countries, this is not the case and I do sincerely hope we can change this. I acknowledge that 50% of Afghan girls are forced into marriage by the age of 12. What about those young girls kidnapped by Boko Harem in 2014? Whatever happened to them?  Thanks to my predecessors, I have a right to vote, own property and there is more equality in the workplace. I do not see a need for feminism here but do see a need for women's rights in third world countries. I am also very doubtful this will ever be an issue or an agenda under the third wave feminist banner.

Modern feminism is tainted. Unfortunately, the majority (not all) have become "social justice warriors" trying to protect us from the evil patriarchy. After all, we are disadvantaged and helpless victims. No longer does the feminist banner promote individuality, free-thinking, and most important, equality. If you look up the definition of feminism in the Merriam-Webster dictionary, it is defined as such: "the belief that men and women should have equal rights and opportunities." Unfortunately, the actions of many have not lived up to this example. I do not make decisions or judgements based off of definitions. Actions speak louder than words and it is thanks to these very actions by these extremists that I am dropping the label.

I know there are most probably many women who read this blog that may or may not agree with me and that is fine. At the end of the day, I am ditching a title. That is all. A fucking title.  At the end of the day, I would much rather call myself an egalitarian than associate myself with something that I feel no longer represents me. In fact, I am embarrassed to be considered a feminist and that really saddens me.

It would be the same with the Goth movement. When Columbine or the Dawson shooting happened here in my home city, I was one of the first to call out “the shooters were not goth. Not ALL goth people are like that" I even defended feminism citing the same chant whenever someone would say something negative about it. Give me a reason to defend you and lately, there hasn't been anything positive about feminism! I know I shouldn't let a few bad apples ruin it for me, just like I don't let a handful of jerks within the subculture ruin my experiences. I love men and I just can't associate myself with something where the majority does the opposite. Not all men rape. Not all men are asses. There are many good ones out there. I will not be affiliated with something that promotes misandry even for the sake of propaganda. If the goth scene portrayed such a negative stereotype by the majority of the people in it, I would seriously re-consider using that label as well and I love being goth just as much as I used to love being a feminist.

According to the media and many sources, women are oppressed beings. There is a wage gap and a rape culture. Well, I don't like to believe everything I read and take things at face value and have been doing some fact checking on my own. Things are not always black and white. In fact, I was also fed all this propaganda and made some cringe-worthy blog posts that I now regret. I always said that I was a free thinker and not a sheep but there I was, following the herd!

Unfortunately, it is thanks to these extremists, to the media, and internet that embellishes the truth to sell a story, that have ruined the concept for me. I do not appreciate being duped.  I think it is unfortunate because so many women like me who are turning against feminism thanks to these people promoting hate.

Don't get me wrong. I strongly feel that we still need women's rights in third world countries. I think so many wonderful things could come out of feminism if we would work together, unfortunately, I am not seeing this and it makes me sad.

I would like to conclude, if I have lost friends or readership over this. That is fine. I respect your decision. I am not saying that ALL feminists are extremists just as I would never say that ALL goths go and shoot up schools or are Satanists! That would be absurd! I am just disgusted on what feminism is turning out to be and do not want my name affiliated with that sort of trash. It goes against my own morals and personal values.

I know I am being vague and not really giving straight answers as to why I came to such a conclusion or details as to exactly what led me to this decision. To be honest, I do want to list my reasons why because I feel they are valid reasons.  Stay tuned for Friday's post where I will be doing just that I don't want you to read an overly long post!  For those wondering, no, this blog will not be about feminist bashing or will I be posting about anti-feminist stuff all the time.  I get inspired by things and then move onto other things. I like being diverse in my posts. A little bit of fashion, being silly, being serious, being a mom, a geek, and everything in between. I want to share my enthusiasm or give you a glimpse of my larger than life personality. It would be boring for me to post about one thing all the time!

Do you think feminism is doomed? Do you agree or disagree with modern feminism? I am interested in hearing about YOUR views.

21 comments:

  1. These days, some of these so-called "feminists" just throw the term around to get what they want or an innocent person in trouble.

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  2. If you're against feminism, you're against equality between the sexes, by definition. I don't really believe that you believe that. Maybe you shouldn't let yourself be poisoned by the things you read on the internet. The anti feminists aren't the good guys, you know.

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    1. I don't think she's against feminism per se, I think she's against what's associated with the term, ergo what she sees on the internet. If you think about it, most feminists out in the public sphere come off as aggressive, male shaming 'social justice warriors' just like Sylie said, and it's no longer about the equality between the sexes. I guess she doesn't want to be associated with that image and to be honest, neither do I. Their behavior and actions, that promotes hate reflects badly on the actual feminist movement and goals and frankly, I don't understand why they're even letting it slide...

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    2. That is exactly what I was trying to convey Lynoire. Thank you!

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    3. Anti feminists don't let ourselves be bullied into victimhood and a false narrative that says the world is against women when it's very clear in the first world, most things are done on behalf and at the behest of women. Not to mention that feminism has, slowly but surely, moved from fighting for the equality of women to wanting special treatment for women. Equality isn't about everyone getting the same outcome, it's about everyone having the same footing, and right now, women by and large have three steps up to every single step a man does. The law is also on women's side, greatly favouring women because of legislature put in place by feminist that over 90% of the time paints the woman as the victim even when clearly the aggressor. But hey, if you won't believe what you read on the internet, go to your local library and look up the Duluth Model, the skewed definition of domestic violence, or the incarceration numbers between men and women for the same crime to see just a few prime examples of what feminism has done to favour women over men. If that doesn't at least show you how screwed up feminism has really always been, don't forget the Order of the White Feather or the SCUM Manifesto.

      Feminism has done good, I won't be the asshole who says differently, but it's clearly never really been about real equality of the sexes and if you didn't eat up the history feminism paints and instead looked at how things really went down, you'd see that too. Or not, it's your choice to remain ignorant and follow a supremacy like ideology blindly.

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  3. A lot of online egalitarians identify as anti feminists and use the title of egalitarian as an 'excuse' to justify their anti feminist position.
    So in some ways I think the word egalitarian has become as abused as the word feminism, if we are looking at how it is used.

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    1. Just like a lot on online feminist use the title as an 'excuse' to justify their position for the sake of 'equality'.

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    2. Anti-Feminists are a diverse group. A small amount are traditionalists, Alt-Right, sexists, Muslims or NAZIs. As such they may believe that Feminism benefits women and oppose it based on that.

      Most aren't though, all the ones I follow online are often accused of being sexist by feminists, but if you listen to their position you see find that they just advocate for both men and woman and don't care about gender, race or sexuality - the contents of character and talent of the individual are what is important.
      I have also observed that most of us Egalitarian Shitlords see Feminism as an ideology that harms women and holds them back in many ways.

      So all Egalitarians are either non-feminists or anti-feminists, but not all anti-feminists are Egalitarians. So being Anti-Feminist does not necessarily make one a sexist, just opposed to the ideology.

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  4. It's funny but I had a similar revelation after I had joined a Facebook group a while back. I'm childless, I don't want kids. I thought I could connect to others with the same lifestyle and all I found were child hating psychopaths who spent their every waking moment bashing parents for their decision to be parents. It was the most f*cked up thing I had ever seen, and ironic too because these people wouldn't even exist if it wasn't for *their parents*. 0.0

    That's when I realized the internet is full of idiots - which is almost literally the whole world. In one way this was a horrific realization, in another way it made me feel really damn cool because I knew I was more intelligent than a lot of people. But I digress, my point is is that there are plenty of people who identify as childless by choice but not all of them are awesome, a lot of them are douchebags. Likewise, there are plenty of stupid or extremist feminists. You're never going to escape them, no matter what label you choose to identify with. The key is to stop identifying yourself that way at all OR stop associating with those people, in particular on the internet. I don't want to bash the internet completely, we've connected via the blog world and we share many great things, but for all of our awesomeness there's three times as much BS out there.

    Whatever you choose, don't stop voicing your opinion!

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    1. I am sorry you had a bad experience. This is why I stop identifying myself as a feminist. I dont want part of it.

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    2. Just like it's their business if they don't want kids, it other people's business that want kids. They're either trolls or morons or both.

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  5. I still consider myself a feminist. The problem with any label, whether it's feminist, patriot, Christian, whatever, is that labels get co-opted. Usually by the loudest most obnoxious person in the room with the biggest axe to grind. That wouldn't be so sad if we could all talk out our similarities and differences, but we all know how well that goes these days.

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    1. Yes! This! I think this is why so many women are not standing up because they are too afraid.

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  6. I'm still (and probably ever will be) a feminist. I believe in equality for everyone. I don't care if some idiots claim the title "feminist" and behave like mad (wo)men. I still stand by my believes.

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  7. As a proud feminist I am sad to read this.

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  8. I must say agree completely with you. I have come to the same conclusion as you. One of the worst things I see when coming to this standpoint is that if you do not self-identify as a feminist it means you are against equality. Or reversely, if you are for equality you are a feminist, regardless of what you think yourself. The world is not black and white, and it is possible to have two thoughts in your head at the same time.

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    1. Thank you, Kara, that is exactly it!

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  9. You're talking with the same language as Men's Rights Activists, using the same arguments that they use. It's hard to believe you ever were a feminist with the kind of thinking you're displaying

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  10. The problem is Feminism has always been crazy and hateful. The claims for being for equality have never been true, not for any just form of "equality" anyway. Seeking equality of outcomes over equality of opportunity just means that you are taking from everyone.

    When you look into the literature it is a weird combination of Post-Structuralism, Marxism, the Frankfurt school and other such lunacy.
    The hatred of men and boys is not a new thing, it has been there from the beginning, not on the fringe but promoted by the figureheads of the ideology, though it was veiled in the language and the Feminist tendency to give words new definitions.

    SJWs didn't just spring from the ground it is the "Women's Studies Degrees" that pushed all this, then the advent of intersectionality started exploiting white guilt and it got even more racist than before, and from there the SJWs came into existence. Kids are being taught this stuff as fact, and it has proven to be very damaging for them.

    The real irony though is despite selling itself as women's liberation it takes away their agency, beats them down, fills them with fear and eventually isolates them from others.
    So don't feel sad, breaking free from the chains of that ideology could be one of the most empowering things that you can do.

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