The first two waves of feminism had great initiative. I am grateful to all those women before us who fought hard for our basic rights. I do acknowledge that in many countries, this is not the case and I do sincerely hope we can change this. I acknowledge that 50% of Afghan girls are forced into marriage by the age of 12. What about those young girls kidnapped by Boko Harem in 2014? Whatever happened to them? Thanks to my predecessors, I have a right to vote, own property and there is more equality in the workplace. I do not see a need for feminism here but do see a need for women's rights in third world countries. I am also very doubtful this will ever be an issue or an agenda under the third wave feminist banner.
Modern feminism is tainted. Unfortunately, the majority (not all) have become "social justice warriors" trying to protect us from the evil patriarchy. After all, we are disadvantaged and helpless victims. No longer does the feminist banner promote individuality, free-thinking, and most important, equality. If you look up the definition of feminism in the Merriam-Webster dictionary, it is defined as such: "the belief that men and women should have equal rights and opportunities." Unfortunately, the actions of many have not lived up to this example. I do not make decisions or judgements based off of definitions. Actions speak louder than words and it is thanks to these very actions by these extremists that I am dropping the label.
I know there are most probably many women who read this blog that may or may not agree with me and that is fine. At the end of the day, I am ditching a title. That is all. A fucking title. At the end of the day, I would much rather call myself an egalitarian than associate myself with something that I feel no longer represents me. In fact, I am embarrassed to be considered a feminist and that really saddens me.
It would be the same with the Goth movement. When Columbine or the Dawson shooting happened here in my home city, I was one of the first to call out “the shooters were not goth. Not ALL goth people are like that" I even defended feminism citing the same chant whenever someone would say something negative about it. Give me a reason to defend you and lately, there hasn't been anything positive about feminism! I know I shouldn't let a few bad apples ruin it for me, just like I don't let a handful of jerks within the subculture ruin my experiences. I love men and I just can't associate myself with something where the majority does the opposite. Not all men rape. Not all men are asses. There are many good ones out there. I will not be affiliated with something that promotes misandry even for the sake of propaganda. If the goth scene portrayed such a negative stereotype by the majority of the people in it, I would seriously re-consider using that label as well and I love being goth just as much as I used to love being a feminist.
According to the media and many sources, women are oppressed beings. There is a wage gap and a rape culture. Well, I don't like to believe everything I read and take things at face value and have been doing some fact checking on my own. Things are not always black and white. In fact, I was also fed all this propaganda and made some cringe-worthy blog posts that I now regret. I always said that I was a free thinker and not a sheep but there I was, following the herd!
Unfortunately, it is thanks to these extremists, to the media, and internet that embellishes the truth to sell a story, that have ruined the concept for me. I do not appreciate being duped. I think it is unfortunate because so many women like me who are turning against feminism thanks to these people promoting hate.
Don't get me wrong. I strongly feel that we still need women's rights in third world countries. I think so many wonderful things could come out of feminism if we would work together, unfortunately, I am not seeing this and it makes me sad.
I would like to conclude, if I have lost friends or readership over this. That is fine. I respect your decision. I am not saying that ALL feminists are extremists just as I would never say that ALL goths go and shoot up schools or are Satanists! That would be absurd! I am just disgusted on what feminism is turning out to be and do not want my name affiliated with that sort of trash. It goes against my own morals and personal values.
I know I am being vague and not really giving straight answers as to why I came to such a conclusion or details as to exactly what led me to this decision. To be honest, I do want to list my reasons why because I feel they are valid reasons. Stay tuned for Friday's post where I will be doing just that I don't want you to read an overly long post! For those wondering, no, this blog will not be about feminist bashing or will I be posting about anti-feminist stuff all the time. I get inspired by things and then move onto other things. I like being diverse in my posts. A little bit of fashion, being silly, being serious, being a mom, a geek, and everything in between. I want to share my enthusiasm or give you a glimpse of my larger than life personality. It would be boring for me to post about one thing all the time!
Do you think feminism is doomed? Do you agree or disagree with modern feminism? I am interested in hearing about YOUR views.