Saturday, January 31, 2015

Sick and adult Wednesday Addams

I was planning an outfit post but I got sick (again)  yesterday. Damn weak immune system. I was happy at first because my son and husband got sick and I didn't. Turns out, I counted my chickens before they were hatched, so to speak. I have this really bad chest cold and had to leave early from work yesterday. I came home, slept and not long afterwards, I got hit with a migraine!

So no outfit post for today  but I did come across this video which cheered me up.

I do not agree with everything she has to say, especially with telling children that they are inconsequential, trivial, and don't matter, although I did laugh.

I am going to tell my son something similar whenever he says that there are monsters in his room!

Monday, January 26, 2015

Silly Random Thought Of The Day: The 2015 Pop Music Scourge and how I barely survived!

Before I begin, the point of this post is not to offend anyone. I am just stating my personal preferences, in a humorous way, and how I have a very large aversion to pop music. That is all.

I guess you can say this story all began when I was nursing the mother of all migraines all weekend long. The migraine kept coming back with a vengeance and it was a real nasty one. I am feeling somewhat better today so I decided to come to work instead of taking a day off. I did not overexert myself or anything so it was nice calming day. Another bonus, the phones were quiet too.

Right before lunch, I got hit by a wave of nausea and some slight head pain. I was able to drive so I decided to head out to the closest store (Walmart) for some Ginger-ale and fruit. I figured the fresh, crisp winter air might also help and make me feel better.

I was not hungry but decided a fruit smoothie and some fruit would be good for me. I did not eat breakfast due the nausea and I did not want to go all day without something in my stomach (which I think was causing my headache). I browsed a couple of aisles and picked up a few random things we need for the house as well.

Now keep in mind, my personal music preferences. I cannot tolerate pop, rap,country or hip hop music. The majority of my tastes range from (Trad goth, EBM/Darkwave - yes I like the Oontz Oontz music!, New Wave, Industrial, Classical, Punk, Metal, Classic Rock, Celtic) so listening to pop music is not something I would do. Ever.

There are times, where I do not have a choice and am stuck listening to cheesy pop music like in a store (no headphones) or at the doctor's office.  Today was one of them. The Backstreet Boys came on while I was shopping and I actually caught myself singing a long with them. I was so amused by this that I even put up a silly Facebook status telling people to spray me with holy water! The lyrics are pretty repetitive so I was not surprised I knew them, but still, I must of been more sick than I originally thought I was to sing to that kind of crap!  I blared my music in my car on the way back to work so I can free myself from the taint of the Pop Music Scourge.

The verdict, no I am not a fan.  No I will not listen to it again unless I was forced too. The last time I enjoyed pop music, I was 11 years old and totally tripped out over The New Kids On The Block. I had all the dolls, the tapes, the frigging bedsheets, posters, you name it!I was a huge fan-girl. Now let's not ever talk about this again!

All afternoon, I listened to my music at my desk (I love where I work, not many places allow the receptionist to do this!)  because I got that blasted song in my head. My dark little gothic soul needed saving.

So there you have it, Darklings. Today,  I lost some major goth cred. The secret Goth Cabal is going to come and revoke my membership card now! Thanks again Jillian Venters for that term!

I think the best thing I can write here is "I don't care who you are or where you're from. As long as you love me!" Hahaha!!!!

Now if you'll excuse me I have some Bauhaus to listen to

Saturday, January 24, 2015

Why we relate to Gomez and Morticia

The picture and text above really sums up our parenting style. I always said I wanted to have the same family values as the Addams family. I think they can be postive parenting role models! Unlike in the movies or episodes, my kid doesn't play with knives or torture devices (duh!) and I also do not dress him like a mini version of myself.

My husband plays a super active part with raising our son. From the time he was born, my husband would wake up in the middle of the night and let me sleep! He changed more than his share of dirty diapers. He plays with my son all the time, especially when I am sick. He steps up and becomes both parents when I am under the weather so I can get my rest. He is also kind, loving and a great father. I couldn't ask for more!

We both are very active in our son's life and take an interest with his daycare and now that he is in pre-school, we both help him at night prepping him for Kindergarten. Unlike when we were kids, children are expected to know a lot before they physically start school. I am a little stressed about this because he greatly fell behind the other kids in his class recently. Thanks to working with him at night, I discovered that he needs glasses! No wonder!

 While we do not expect our son to be a little version of Pugsley Addams, in fact, he chooses his own clothes and he likes what he likes, we do expect him to be the best person he can be without selling himself out to either side of the fence.

I went to visit my son's future elementary school for orientation day earlier this week.  Can you believe it? I am going to be registering him for Kindergarten very soon and he will be starting elementary school in the fall! It is so bittersweet for me!

While visiting the school, just like in the scene from the Addams Family movie, there was a wall of inspirational people. I immediately started to think of the scene in the movie where Wednesday Addams puts up a drawing of one of her relatives who was burned at the stake for witchcraft. The teacher showed concern at this and Morticia's response was perfect!

 I am a firm believer that my son is his own person. We do allow him to choose his own clothing (he did once choose a Sourpuss shirt made for kids much to my delight) and we do let him discover who he is on his own.  I really do think he is showing signs of not wanting to follow the flock so to speak. Either way, he can be a "normal" child or an "odd" one, no matter what, I would always stand by him. I can just imagine him as a teenager rebelling, he would dress all conservatively!!!

My parents used to give me long talks about how they wanted me to try to blend in and it never worked in their favor. While they certainly meant well, I do think this can do a lot more damage than good. I honestly doubt my son Philip will be putting up pictures of relatives who died of suspected witchcraft on the school walls but I am preparing myself to hear from teachers how he does not blend in. In fact, I got those talks already from his daycare!

Source:pinterest, Alice in Wonderland

My responses were sort of similar to Morticia's : "Oh so he doesn't like to follow the other children, isn't that lovely? It just shows he is going to make a great leader someday!"

"Oh so what if he colored the little boy in the picture differently and told you he was an alien. Look at his imagination and how creative he is!...He did follow instructions. You never told him what color to use for that picture right? Didn't you leave it up to his imagination?"

While I am looking forward to watching him go to school and learn new things, I am also fearful. Schools tend to take away creativity and I plan on fighting for it on every turn. My son will be the best person he can and wants to be. I will always be his biggest fan, no matter the path he chooses. If he turns out to be what some people would call weird, I will encourage him to embrace it instead of trying to stamp it out. If he ends up on the opposite side of the fence, I would still encourage him and accept him no matter what. Afterall, whenever I look at him, I will always be reminded of that cute little baby with the chubby cheeks I brought home from the hospital. I will still love him unconditionally because he is my son!

Wednesday, January 21, 2015

It really is a delicate dependency

Back when I was a teenager, I had this huge crush on a certain blonde haired, blue eyed gothic cutie. I think the attraction stemmed from the fact that he was one of the only goths I knew at that time that kept his natural hair color. He sort of resembled the vampire Lestat, or so I thought anyways. Nothing really came of my crush but he did make a pretty awesome friend. I remember sleeping over at a friend's place after a full night of hardcore partying and he played the "Music for Vampires, A Delicate Dependency" compilation CD for us to unwind from the night. I was completely smitten with the album as much as I was with him!

While my crush faded away, my affections for the compilation album never wavered. In fact, I loved it. It was my go-to compilation CD after a night of clubbing. Remember I am from the era of mix tapes and CDs, we had no MP3 play lists back then! Yes, we also got into clubs despite the fact we were not of legal age yet! The lovely thing about growing up in Montreal was that the legal age here is 18. It didn't take long afterwards where I was legally allowed into clubs or venues anyways.

The compilation doesn't have many songs and it perhaps it isn't the best of gothic compilations I came across but it is something that I personally find relaxing and allows me to revisit my youth.

Listening to that album brings me back to a time where life was pretty simple. I used to listen to this when I was a student and studying for upcoming tests. I had jobs where I could wear what I wanted and not had to worry about toning it down. I sometimes look back at that little blonde haired cutie who used to tie his hair in a pony tail with a black ribbon and wonder what happened to him after all these years.

I remember the opera piece freaking out my father. Is my daughter listening to opera, what?

The Schubert piece always got blared in my room, much to my father's delight as he loved Classical music. Little did he know, this piece was played in the movie "The Hunger" which starred David Bowie. That movie also has that famous opening scene with Peter Murphy performing "Bela Lugosi's Dead" I did honestly like Classical musical but like most teenagers, it wasn't my first choice of music to listen to.

I accidentally left my Discman (again, before Smartphones, I Pods, or even MP3 players) on the train with this CD inside. I never bothered re-purchasing it either, I wonder why. I guess that never really occurred to me but it is still a compilation that is held so close to my heart today because it introduced me to The Cocteau Twins!

So if anyone out there was a baby bat in the nineties with me, I wonder if this compilation will bring back memories for you too just like it does for me.

P.S. I have most of these songs already (now in MP3 format) but I did re-purchase this CD again, by the way. Just for nostalgia!

And I found the entire compilation here on Youtube!

Monday, January 19, 2015

My blogging style

In the past few months of blogging, I learned several techniques. Perhaps I will brush up on this post in a year or so but I got inspired now. In fact, I got inspired by complaining about my lack of inspiration! Then the magic happened. I am going to blog about blogging and how I sometimes find sparks of creativity in the most unsuspecting of places!

I keep a notebook in my desk drawer at work and write notes whenever I observe or my mind wanders to something interesting . Sometimes, I get busy and it is easier to type something out so I will email myself my ideas. Sometimes I use the voice recorder app thingy on my phone and make "notes". I hate the sound of my own voice. Ugh! Other times, I will be trying to figure out what I want to write and the most innocuous comment from the person I am talking to at the moment will ignite the spark of creativity, hence the blog post you are currently reading right now!

Sometimes I write posts in advance and come back to it fifty times. I edit and re-edit. I find my most successful posts were the ones I put a lot of blood, sweat and tears in so to speak.

I don't use one solid technique. I am organized in my chaos. I have always been that way. Even at work, my boss is constantly ragging on me because my desk is so messy. "Clients see that, you know. You shouldn't have so much clutter" she would say. So I would organize everything but in a few days, I have an "organized mess" once again.  I always tell people these are my "sylvie-isms" I don't have time to dwell on the trivial. My mind is constantly at work. This is why I trip over my own two feet!

I take notes everywhere. I even wrote on a napkin once. I unfolded it and wrote part of a post that sat in my draft folder for weeks. It eventually got published. Organized chaos!

Today, my poor draft folder is full of half written posts. Some of them will probably never be published.

I do not believe in writing something half assed for the sake of posting. I want my posts to mean something. I don't expect everyone to like or agree with every single little thing that I put up. I just don't like posting something that has no meaning.

Yes I do product reviews, I once put up a band I like (usually there is a cute back story) because I like reading those myself. Sometimes when I do a product review, someone would suggest something else and it would be super helpful!

So yeah, this is the result of my cluttered disorganized yet organized chaos! There is never a dull moment! 

Saturday, January 17, 2015

A thanks, on being inspired, and body image

Before I begin, I just wanted to say a quick thanks for all that feedback I received with regards to that post I made about coming back to goth. I received a lot of feedback either by personal message or by comments here on this blog. I even had friends message me and text me to tell me they saw that post being shared via social media! It took me by surprise, really. On my end, I got positive feedback which was nice  This is a new blog, perhaps this will make me sound naive here but I honestly never imagined it would reach out the way it did. Thank you. I never realized how many people related to this and it was very encouraging.

In fact, someone commented that while she wears a lot of normal clothes, just black, she was trying to find confidence to do more. Thank to this commenter, I got inspired all over again so I have to sort of piggyback on that previous post and do another one!

It is funny where we find inspiration, isn't it? I always say it is the little things in life (be it a stupid comment, a moment, an observation or something trivial) that move me the most and I just have to get my thoughts down.

I got inspired because in all honesty, I too occasionally lack confidence. It took a lot of nerve to post those photos of me when I first came back and to even call myself a baby bat. I was proud of that accomplishment. On the other hand, recently, I joined the Curious Professor's Z's Bat Fit challenge because I want to get in shape. Joining that challenge and working towards my own personal fitness goals has enabled me to do some soul searching. It is helping me feel better about myself because I do not always have a positive outlook, especially when it comes to the way I see my body.  I posted something about that here but I also want to elaborate on that as well.

In other words, I am elaborating on my Batfit post and the one where I spoke about my experiences when I came back to goth. Keep that in mind.

Back in my early twenties to mid twenties, I was a super thin, little twig of a woman. I did not take care of myself and made a number of poor decisions. I eventually stopped all the crap I was doing to myself and my poor body. I gained a healthy weight from eating right and making positive, healthy lifestyle choices. I was very active and comfortable with myself.

Then I got pregnant and gained well over 50 pounds.I was put on bed rest and it was a difficult pregnancy. It didn't help that I craved French fries, 7up and cheeseburgers! I managed to lose most of the baby weight but there is always that 10-15 pounds that I have been struggling with since. When it really does go to your thighs and ass, it really goes there and it is damn frigging stubborn!

Even today, I am still used to wearing articles of clothing that reflected my slimmer body type. Shopping has been a harrowing experience since. Even when I go shopping at the local goth stores. I see so many beautiful articles of clothing, I try them on and I think I look like a gigantic sac of potatoes.I remember a particular time I was once almost in tears over it. Thankfully for me, the woman working at that particular goth store understood my concerns (she is a mother herself) and she suggested articles I would of never dreamed of wearing. I ended up leaving happy and she made a great sale out of me! Not only did I come back to my true self, I still had to learn to dress for my new body type.

Does this still hold me back today? Yes! On the other hand, you know something? I just stopped caring about what others thought. Blogging has been really great with this because the few times I do an outfit post (usually one suitable for work, after all I am the Little Corp Goth Girl, right?) my confidence level goes up. I am not expecting pity or attention or a slew of comments by posting all this. I chose to have this child. I knew damned well what would happen when I got pregnant. I didn't care. My kid was wanted and planned and I love him more than anything in the world.The feedback has been positive and it encourages me to keep at it!

Going back to that blog post where I posted about  re-discovering the subculture, I mentioned the negative comments I received from the more "normal" people. I am now referring specifically to the comments I posted below the picture of me in that corset. I tongue in cheek commented about being a MILF. I always make silly, sometimes sarcastic remarks over things that upset me.That is how I deal with difficult situations; I laugh them off. That took tonnes of courage because I do not see myself that way at all. I still decided to put that picture of me up, added the mean yet humorous comments I received from people, despite my own personal insecurities over my body issues.

That picture in particular took me a long time, in fact, 3 years to see that I was still beautiful despite thinking that I have a huge behind! I don't think I look beautiful in that picture for vanity reasons but because I still looked happy and comfortable over what I was wearing! That is what made me beautiful! I was coming back to my true self and despite not feeling 100% confident over the way my body looked, I felt like I looked like me for once. I looked in the mirror and saw me and not some stranger looking back.  I saw my inner beauty. To those closest to me, that picture speaks a thousand words!

If I can keep my head high after my personal insecurities over my body issues and not give a fuck, you can own it too! I guess what I am saying, despite the self esteem issues and what other people are saying, the personal satisfaction of being true to yourself is payoff enough! Who cares what people think? They are entitled to their own opinion and judgements.

I know for some people, body image was not a factor or obstacle or issue for them when they were coming back, perhaps I am being presumptuous?  Perhaps the commenter who sparked such inspiration is referring to something completely different? I know some personal friends told me in confidence that they were afraid of what their spouses would say/do, some of it was because of their children and their communities.

For me, personally, I was lucky, those were never an issue so I cannot fully get into that here. Hopefully, someone else can brush upon that for discussion sake! I think this was never fully an issue for me because most of my old friends had fun playing "spot the goth undertones" when I was normal.  It was annoying for me but so much fun for them! I was greeted back with open arms and the very small group of people who said those mean things or just stopped talking to me was so insignificant in the grand scheme of things. It really was a great filtering process. I also live in a very cosmopolitan city too so perhaps that can attribute to it.

Don't let insecurities hold you back. This is advice for me as much as it could be for anyone.

Wednesday, January 14, 2015

It's a vlogger double feature, picture show!

I am trying to be quirky with my title, don't mind me.

It is very cold here in Montreal and if I am not exercising (Batfit, here I come!) or taking care of my son, or at work, I am at home in the warmth watching Netflix or Youtube videos! It's just too damned cold!
As a side note, if there are any Whovians reading this, I strongly recommend the documentary "An Adventure in Space and Time" which I found on Netflix! It is about how the show started and it is really cool! I learned how they came up with the TARDIS sound and how most people at the BBC did not take the show seriously because it was a show for children.

I don't know how successful this post would be or how many people watch this person already on Youtube but I thought "she is just too damned adorable. If I can introduce her to someone else, why not?" With that being said, if I bore you, we will get back to our regular scheduled program,  if I introduced you to someone cool, I did my job!

Rambling aside, today Darklings, I am going to feature Youtuber It's Black Friday. She is from New Zealand. She has the cutest, sweetest voice and accent imaginable. Oh how I would love to have an accent like that! When she is not giving advice to the younger Gothling crowd, she is being silly (check her video "Things Goths Never Say") she always has some great tips and DIYs. I watched several so far and they were all very informative and fun! 

I came across her channel when I was looking for a natural way to lighten my skin! Turns out, she has a great all natural method in doing so and it leaves your skin super soft! I may just try this! 

So without further adieu...

Here is the link to her channel: It's black Friday

and thanks to her makeup tutorial, I adapted it for me! I used to do this when I was younger but stopped for various reasons. Don't think I could get away with this at work but will definately do this more on the weekends.

Monday, January 12, 2015

Product review: L'Oreal Voluminous black liquid eyeliner

I don't recall seeing this eyeliner in stores but I got it when I went to the l'Oreal sale a couple of weeks ago. It is written on the package "Mistake proof marker" and I thought I would give it a try. I thought I would get three of them, they were only $2.00 each.

Granted, I lose complaining rights because I did get this item at a discount price but to be honest, that whole whopping six dollars could of been better spent elsewhere!

For the first few days, the eyeliner went on effortlessly and I thought how great it was especially when I pressed for time and everything. It looked great and I was happy.Afterwards, I noticed the black started to look brown and I had to go over it with my pencil eyeliner.

Putting this eyeliner over eyeshadow is a mess. Don't even bother. It did nothing. I am not skilled enough to put eyeshadow around the eyeliner!

What really rots my socks? The eyeliner died on me after about two weeks of use.

Again, I don't really have a right to complain. I didn't pay full price for this and I really do love l'Oreal products but once I use up these supplies, I am going back to my old fashion brush and liquid eyeliner routine. I will take that extra five minutes.

Hopefully this could help you guys out if you should ever come across it in stores.

Saturday, January 10, 2015

What happened after I rediscovered goth - The chronicles of a thirty something year old baby bat!

I have to say, 90% of the people who knew me were not surprised. Most probably didn't even care. Some made a joke that I grew out of my "normal" phase and glad to see I was no longer depressed. It was no big deal.

Then there were the others. The Tribbles as I like to call them who had nothing but negative things to say. Not only did these people stab me in the back but I was also stabbed in the front. Be forewarned. It may not happen to you but it always seems someone has something to say!

These people greeted me with open arms when they saw photos of me on Facebook with blonde hair, bright blue shirts and how I looked like everyone else. They accepted me. It felt good to get approval because in the past, they made it very clear that they didn't approve of my goth phase.

"you look so normal now", "look at that blonde hair, let's hang out", "no offense, I didn't really want to hang out with you when you were goth. I was embarrassed to be seen with you" Normalcy=immediate acceptance despite the fact I still had my odd, quirky personality.

Then I ditched the charade and they said all sorts of things, tried to give me advice and even implied that I was being selfish because I am a mom now. I should dress the part!  Did you know that being a mom entailed a uniform? Behind my back and even to my face, it was said that I was doing it to attract male attention. We all know that stereotype! Some of them said that  I am a mother now and I shouldn't be viewed as a sex symbol

The first corset I got when I came back. Who knew this beautiful garment sparked so many comments! I am a mom now so I shouldn't wear these things. I guess being a MILF is an insult?

The funny thing is, when I was "normal" you don't know how many whistles I received from strange men. You don't know how many unwanted advances I got from from people. I think it was the other way around but since stereotypically speaking, goths are supposedly easy, I must be having affairs every night! Jeez, I wonder where I would find time for that with a small child to take care of but anyways. That one amused me the most.

The all time best, it was greatly implied that I was a bad mother because I started dressing goth again. Oh noes! Can you believe it? How dare I raise my child to have an open mind? Shame on me! Damn me to hell!

My first piercing since coming back
Obviously, I needed a tattoo. It represents a lot. Being true to myself and the birth of my son.

Another classic "what would your husband say?" He knew me in High School. He met me as a goth. We started dating when I was still goth. While he was supportive, he was kind of sad that I ditched the clothing. Not because of anyway he viewed me, because he knew that the clothing represented who I am. He was happy and is usually more than willing to overlook my spending towards new clothing items today and every other damned day!

Some people just stopped talking to me altogether. They never seen me as a little Gothling, only as the normal Barbie doll incarnation so they were shocked. One person said "we have nothing in common anymore" although I pointed out that nothing really changed except for my clothes.

Me slowly coming back. I didn't have much clothes back then. I just dyed my hair black and badly cut my bangs into Bettie ones. I fixed those. The clothes I had, still didn't fit me anymore as I gained weight from being pregnant.

I was accused of having some midlife crisis. I couldn't handle being a new mom. I was depressed.

My all time favourite "I really like you. I really want to be your friend but I just wish you could dress normal like everyone else" That one cracked me up. I never knew friendship meant having a dress code.

Some people just unfriended me from Facebook. I blinked and they were gone!

My first Halloween when I came back

Looking better.

The thing is, none of that bothered me. Just like the meme, being unfriended on Facebook really was like the trash was taking itself out for me! It was wonderful! The people who mattered, didn't make a big deal about it. The nicest thing someone told me once is that I make a cool mom. It helped me find out who my real friends were.

I had to buy him the obligatory Sourpuss shirt. It still fits him.

So if you are thinking of dusting off your old pair of Doc Martens and bringing out the electric razor to cut your hair into a death hawk after all these years, why not? What do you have to loose? Nothing. In fact, you gain new friends, you keep the good ones and you can re-experience the whole subculture once again.This time as an adult! I know this maybe biased but come on... you know you want to!

P.S. one thing this blog post taught me, I can be vain...look at all those selfies I took. I am glad I "catalogued" my transition. Yes, we shall go with that! I catalogued it all!

Wednesday, January 7, 2015

Product review: The Legend of Candy Claws

This was one of the books I added on my Christmas list and I was not dissappointed. The book is written by Voltaire and Illustrated by Shamine King.

 I pre-ordered this book back in the fall and was quite happy that Voltaire worked his ass off to make sure we got it before Christmas. It arrived on the 22nd!

  Like always, the product did arrive undamaged and was well packaged.

I also really like how he focuses on customer service. Being daft, I forgot to delete my old address from my Paypal account. As soon as I received my confirmation, I noticed my error. I immediately e-mailed Voltaire about the situation. I mentioned that if it were easier for him to cancel the transaction and I re-do a new one with the correct address, I would be more than happy to. Turns out, all I had to do was e-mail him the correct one.

This isn't the first time he goes out of his way for his fans/buyers. Back when he did crowdfunding for his new Raised By Bats album and I made a purchase, he e-mailed me asking me to verify my address. By the name of my street, he thought I was in college and wanted to make sure the item wouldn't be delivered to some college dorm room in the middle of summer!

Aside from being a really great person to buy from, the product, the story itself is wonderful.The story is about a bat called Hargoyle who steals candy from all the bullies on Halloween and who then gives the stolen candy to the well behaved children on Christmas. I was entertained throughout and thought it was really cute. It is very well written and the illustrations are gorgeous.

I would advise to read this to older children, though. My son is four and he had a hard to time to sit through the entire story. It is a little long but he did enjoy it. He often talks about it!

Another thing that impressed me with the book was in the beginning, there was a dedication to Sophie Lancaster and to all those people who were bullied.  I thought it was a nice touch.

Thanks to reading this to my son, next year, we have to put out a big bat and a black stocking for Hargoyle. I think I am going to have to hide some of his Halloween candy or buy a special secret stash and hope I don't eat it by the time Christmas comes! My son got the overall message from the story and told me that "being mean to people is naughty."

Definitely a great story book with a wonderful message to read to your very own little baby bats. I highly recommend.

If you want to order, you can do so by clicking here!

Monday, January 5, 2015

Have you thanked your administrative staff today?

Being a receptionist and someone who often works behind the scenes, there are many times I do not always get recognized for my efforts. It never really bothered me (hey, I know my job sucks at times but really, if things were perfect, life wouldn't be the way it is, right?) but there are times being excluded did actually tick me off. Don't get me wrong, I don't expect people to constantly sing my praises or roll out the red carpet for me. I know I am well appreciated and am allowed to wear a lot of things that are not really accepted in most workplaces. I worked hard to get that kind of slack!.

Aside for a more relaxed dress code, what I do need? The occasional thank you. This is always appreciated..There are many times, I go out of my way, above and beyond my job description for some people and it would be nice to receive a thanks! What most people don't realize, they are not the only ones in the office asking for favors. They automatically assume that I sit there looking pretty and I file my nails all day. This is not the case. I am pretty swamped!

I remember once an old colleague of mine from a previous job went out of his way to thank everyone in the office...except for me. What annoyed me, he never thanked me, never wished me a Merry Christmas or Happy New Year but he remembered me whenever he needed something and expected me to give him preferential treatment. Not once did I receive a thank you from this guy and it upset me. There were a few times I pulled some strings for him and the impression I got is that I had nothing better to do. When I politely confronted him about all this he replied "oh but you have so much downtime, you should be thanking me for keeping you busy" I did take the case to my boss and the person backed off.

On a more positive note, I do like to think for every coworker who forgets about the little guy, there are at least two who don't. As an example, a colleague of mine sent me an e-mail last week. While he is not my direct boss, I was still  included along with the rest of his team members. It was just a simple message: "Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, all the best to you and your family. Thank you for all your hard work" sort of deal.

 The fact that the person took a couple of minutes from his busy day to write that e-mail, to think of me, is what made me smile and you know what? If that person ever needs my help again, you bet I would be more than happy and willing to do so! People like to be recognized for their efforts and I am no exception. 

Just this afternoon, a colleague of mine gave me a Hello Kitty thermos as a gift because she noticed how much I like that cute little cat! I don't expect gifts and it certainly was a nice surprise!

The point of this post? Simple! Don't be a douche! Say thank you to the little guy! Trust me, a happy staff is a productive staff. Remember, respect is earned, not given! Take it from someone who knows!

With that being said, dear readers, thank you for reading!

I had to post this one too! LOL

Friday, January 2, 2015

Bat Fit 2015 update: January (kick off)

I plan on doing monthly updates, maybe semi-monthly depending on the need.This blog is not only about being a gothic working gal in the office but also about being a mother. I know I sometimes post about other things too because I personally like variety! For today, I am going to follow my blog's theme, I am going to post a little about what it was like for me being a new mother and how instead of feeling blessed about carrying a baby for nine months, I totally fat shamed myself.

When I was a new mother, one of the first things I did, aside from worrying about the baby, was beating myself up over my body instead of embracing the fact that I carried this beautiful baby boy to term despite the complications I had during delivery! I spent a lot of time criticizing myself because I had a fat arse and thunder things.The photos below are of me (taken when I went normal, no less!) and it was about 6 to 8 weeks after I had my son.I looked so tired, ha!

 During those times of self loathing and fat shaming, I discovered a wonderful website called "The Shape Of A Mother" which I highly recommend for any new mother who is insecure with their body. It really helped me see my body in a more positive light, especially during days where I didn't feel very beautiful.  I was very, super thin before I had my son and then boom! I got curves, a fat ass and the only good thing that happened, I finally got the bigger breast size I always wanted but never had!

Since giving birth, I have been struggling to lose the chub around my butt and my thighs. I am very self conscious over these areas. I read somewhere that those are the hardest places to lose weight.  The part I am most disappointed in myself is, I would start a good work out habit and then I would get sick or hit with a migraine. I was told by my Doctor that I need to start really, really slow and go easy on the cardio. Believe it or not, I am not the only person where running is a migraine trigger for them!So I would give up. I got discouraged way too easily because I let my negative attitude wear me down.I felt like a failure and that my body failed me once again. My body changed a lot since giving birth.  For one thing, I always had migraines but they became more frequent since I had my son.

On a more positive side, this year, my goal is to not give up and work out. I am determined to do it.I am tired of feeling ashamed. I am a strong person, the type that doesn't let anyone put me down so why am I doing this to myself? So what if I get sick? Just get back on the horse and keep going!

I plan on taking progress photos of my thighs, tummy and butt sort of a before and after thing so I can see results. This is my way of not backing down. I am committed. I just put myself on the spot! Hopefully, this can help motivate others to get active too!

My super supportive hubby took photos of my belly and thighs last night, January 1st (see below) and I noticed something. While he was taking the photos, I had my eyes closed, I was embarrassed and I tried to ignore that little voice in my head fat shaming myself. In fact, I told that voice to eff off!

Afterwards, when I looked at those photos, part of me thought "wow, I am beautiful. Now, I see what he (my husband) sees " I looked at the stretch marks and remembered what it was like to have a baby move around in there. It gave me a sense of pride. So here are these photos and look at my cute Kermit The Frog jammies! That night, I re-started doing my lunges, squats, sit ups. I only did 5 of each but I vowed to double my efforts each day. I am starting off small but I do have other activities planned. The sit ups were the hardest part. Aside from special occasions, I don't always eat tons but I also vowed to eat a little healthier in addition to being a little more active. This year's Bat Fit theme is all about nourishment. I am nourishing myself by being more active, eating a little healthier,indulging in my creative side, working towards a career and going to start loving my body again.

These photos here (see below) were taken  last night, January 1st and in a month from now, I plan on taking more. This way, I have no choice but to continue, despite the migraines and despite getting sick (hopefully I won't but my immune system sucks)

 I do realize that there are many times I see myself bigger than I actually am. I know I am not overweight. I am doing this for me because I spent all my life very thin and fit. This is the first time in my life I have been this ill and unfit. It may not show in these pictures but I am a women's US size 11 or 12, I used to be a size 3! I do not want to be that small again  (I was smoking when I was size 3) but I was a nice size 7 after I quit and much healthier. My goal is to get back into those single digits. My body feels so discombobulated sometimes, it is embarrassing because I have to pull my t-shirts down to cover my stomach. I once said humourously that I think I resemble an Oompa Loompa! I don't think I was fat shaming myself there with that remark, though.  I often laugh at the difficult times, it gets me by.

So if you are like me and you hear that little voice of doubt, tell it to eff off! It worked for me!


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