Monday, December 14, 2015

You CAN be the goth in the office and a parent too

Granted, I am fortunate to work in an office that has no corporate dress code policy and am permitted to get a way with a little more than I normally would in a more corporate setting.Please keep this in mind while reading this post.

In my current position as receptionist, one would think this would deter me from wearing the all black wardrobe. I am the first person anyone sees when they walk into the building. The thing is, it doesn't stop me. I like to think black is a classic color. It CAN look professional and I can still keep my gothic edge. My visible tattoos (and the facial piercing I used to have) were never an issue which is an added bonus.  At one point, I had two blue streaks in my hair and no one said anything. I wear my bat jewellery with pride and everyone smiles. I wear fishnets and no one thinks twice. I wear color one day and they all ask me whether or not I am feeling all right! I love the fact that I can get away with many articles of clothing (and visible tattoos!) where I was never allowed to in previous jobs.

I worked this position for four years, soon to be five and lots of our customers remember me as the "cool looking receptionist." Despite my annoyance at constantly being compared to Abby Sciuto from the TV show, NCIS,  I get tons of compliments. It is so nice to get such positive feedback and it feels great to know that the extra care I take during my morning routine gets noticed. These compliments can range from:

"I love what you are wearing"

"You always look so well put together"

"How do you style your hair?"

"You look fantastic"

In case, while not very likely, anyone is wondering who Abby Sciuto is. Yes, goth girls do make work fun.

People are a little more open-minded nowadays than what they used to be. I still get the usual asshole remark, don't get me wrong but the majority of the feedback has been positive.

Would I ever go back to a corporate environment? Never. It's comforting to know I don't need to worry about covering up my tattoos or I can put an unnatural color in my hair if  I so choose.. For so long, I hid who I was from the world because I felt like I was doing the right thing. I realize the right thing to do was to let the real me out and have people see that person for who she really is. I am not a boring, one dimensional person.I not only repressed my physical appearance but my personality as well.

Taken a couple of years ago at my desk. Look at how professional I am! Hahaha!

Aside from being the working gal, I am also a mom. I find parents of school aged children to be a little more accepting than those from my son`s daycare.  Is it because my son goes to a public school while his daycare was private? Probably. In my neighborhood, specifically the zoning area for my son's school, there are many different types of socioeconomic families. It is very diverse which is why I think they have a uniform. I have heard feedback from other parents too. Apparently, we make a cute family and I have been told that they want to talk to me because I seem like a cool mom.

I realize I have written many articles on this subject already and I don't mean to beat a dead horse here. This post is for me or  any other parents out there who feel like they should ditch the things they love or repress their true nature because they are parents now. Sure, I don't go out as much as I may want to and have had to cancel engagements due to my kid. Sure I am tired and don't always want to go out either but being a parent doesn't stop me from being who I am or who I want to be. Being a mom is only part of who I am.

Motherhood was my only defining characteristic for a long time during my normal phase and I was a pretty boring person. I will never be that woman again. I worked too hard to go back there. I was a shell of who I used to be. I reached rock bottom in my life back then and I felt empty. Motherhood, being in mourning over my pregnancy loss and coming back to goth helped show me that there is so much more to life.  I may not post about every little aspect of my life but I try to write about the important ones, the ones that have the most meaning to me. Sometimes my articles are about motherhood, sometimes it about work or an office friendly outfit post but sometimes, coloring outside the lines is fun too!


  1. I love that your job is accepting, I hope that workplaces can get more like this!

    I think the Abby comparison is inescapable if you are Goth, ha ha!

    I had a friend who worked in a bookstore and a customer tried to tell her she looked unprofessional for ONE green streak in her hair, I was so mad, people need to get over themselves!

    I am always so excited when I see Goth parents! I am glad people don't all feel they have to "grow up" from Goth identity!

  2. OK you do kind of look like Abby in that photo of you at your desk! Haha. But because she's one of the most recognised goth characters in mainstream entertainment she's normally the first point of comparison for a normal person to make to a goth girl. Her and the Addams girls anyway. It's really cool that your workplace is reasonable about your style, because that fear is one of the reasons I wouldn't want a job in a corporate setting. Also, I understand the motherhood feeling like the only identity at some points because I do feel like there's this baby bubble you get trapped into during pregnancy and probably the first 6 to 12 months of your baby's life. It's empowering to still have your own identity especially when you have had a loss it can be hard to let go of that and focus on the positivity in your life.

  3. Now f*** the people who say it's just a phase. :)

  4. Great post, and no, I don't think you're being redundant at all. I also think you're right about private school parents being more unaccepting (dare I say "snotty"?) than public school parents. My son was in a private daycare/ kindergarten, so I have some experience with that.

    And honestly, I WISH someone would compare ME to Abby Sciuto!

  5. ^_^ being compared to abby is a big compliment i guess! <3



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