Wednesday, December 16, 2015

I don't care about your opinion

Today, I had an epiphany.

My epiphany has come from the fact that I really don't care what other people think or say about me. I used to. I just don't anymore. I am comfortable with who I am and where I am in my life. There was a time this wasn't such a case.

I like to thank coming back to goth for that. I no longer have to hide and with dressing the way I do, I have heard all sorts of rude comments, especially when I stopped dressing normal. As a result, I developed a thick skin. How I see myself for the good or worse and how I work on my own personal flaws are my business alone. I don't need anyone to dictate to me how to run my life (or to tell me what to wear) for that matter.

Parenthood too has given a thick skin and today's incident is proof.

It is now my morning routine to drop my son, Philip off to school. He has started walking alone to the building with my supervision. There has been mornings he asks me to walk in with him but they have been few and far between. I welcome this independence.

Every morning, he looks unsure and I smile, reassure him then wish him on his way. I watch him walk towards the school and I wave at him.

This morning, a parent stops me. She is with her child. She goes on to lecture me about how I shouldn't allow my little kid to walk on his own. Her daughter is in a much higher grade and she wont let her walk in by herself for safety. I smile, thank her for the advice. In the end, I do not owe her an explanation as to how I choose to raise my child. I am comfortable with my parenting choices. She then says "I know you are really young and all. You may not know any better." This is when I snapped.  I responded: "You choose to raise your daughter the way you like, the best to your knowledge by helicoptering over her and that is your business. I choose to do what I think is best for my son. I want to raise him to be an independent, free thinker." I get interrupted by the woman. She says "excuse me, I am not a helicopter parent. Just a responsible one"  My response:" Oh ok if you say so. This conversation is over, with that, I wish you a good day and Happy Holidays. Thank you for you advice and input. Bye!" My son reached the school safely by then. No one popped out of nowhere to snatch him up and kidnap him! He made it in safe and sound, all by himself! I got in my car and drove off. Even if I were a teenager or a young adult with a child, what business is it of hers?  Does being a young parent necessarily mean that I would be irresponsible or neglectful? What is it to her, anyway? Although arrogant and rude, I do take it as a compliment if she thinks I am really young! I guess I don't look like I am in my mid-thirties! Thank you!


Her advice or her telling me how I should raise my family did not make me second guess my parenting skills. I think the way I handled it was fine, a little too nice even but I thought it would be best to remain polite yet firm. I think she got my subtle message to mind her own damned business! Just sweep your side of the street and stay the hell out of mine!

****Off topic: I recently purchased a beautiful dress from Mary of Mourning Glory Designs. It was supposed to be for my office Christmas party. My son and I got a really bad cold. I ended up not being able to attend the party and have not worn the dress yet. I am waiting until I feel 100% better and not look so crappy, then I plan on doing a full review/ outfit post. I want to do a really nice outfit post and I want to look my best while showing off Mary's hard work. For the record, I LOVE that dress and strongly suggest you check out her etsy store here. I didn't forget about you, Mary! ****

19 comments:

  1. Good for you. I'm proud of you for letting her have it. I would have walked away and then seethed about it the rest of my day.

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    1. Thank you! A long time ago I would have seethed about it too but it seems that since I got married and had to deal with a lot of assholery so something in me snapped

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  2. Iiiiiiiiiii'm sorry... You parked in the school parking lot and were standing outside your car watching your son as he walked from where you parked, into the school - and she stopped you to comment on your "irresponsible parenting"???
    Good. Freaking. Grief.
    You did a fantastic job handling it :)

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    1. Not quite in the parking lot, outside on the street. It is not like he had to cross a road or anything. He just walked a long a sidewalk to get into his school. It wasn`t that far at all.I mean what about kids who take the bus into school? They probably walk in by themselves too and there is no adult supervision on the bus.

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  3. What a rude woman, who does she think she is telling other people how to raise their kids?! People like this really make my blood boil. As if a younger parent wouldn't know any better! I'm very young and consider myself a great parent but age has literally nothing to do with it. You could be 35 and married with a ton of financial stability and still be a shitty parent. But take her comment on age as a compliment! Sorry for ranting a bit there lol

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    1. No that is ok. I thought of you when I wrote this post too. I know you are pretty young and personally, that has nothing to do with your parenting skills. Got to love those types of judgy people!

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  4. Advisers to whom you never ask their advice: What a pain! You seem very sensible and mature.

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    1. LOL yup. Unsolicitated advice is so much fun!

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  5. Yay! I am glad for you! Be your awesome self!

    I love your reply, I wish I was more confident telling off strangers! I think I was a little too much worried over when I was younger and it just made me more anxious. Surely if you are there to watch him walk into the school nothing could happen!

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    1. I had a snap a couple of years ago and have been more self confident since. He is MY kid, if I need advice, I will ask, otherwise, I do what is best.

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  6. FANTASTIC post!!! And I think your answer was perfect, even if it was "a little too nice", because you not only stood firm and told the nosy thing where to get off, you also showed her daughter how classy people behave. Since her child is older, hopefully she will take that experience to heart and use it in her own life.

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    1. That is true too. I just didnt want it to get ugly with so many little kids around, I didnt even think about that. Thanks, Lucretia :)

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  7. Thank You Sylvie! I'm looking forward to seeing you in the dress. :)

    And as for the other parent, I think you handled the situation perfectly. I remember when my son was little. Sometimes the other moms could be very critical. I never understood why people feel the need to tell others what to do, especially when it comes to raising children. Just remember that it's only temporary. You only have to put up with nosy parents until middle school age. By the time he is in highschool you will barely see the other parents anymore. Do what you feel is best for your son. Being independent and a free thinker is important.

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    1. Awww thank you Mary! It is very comforting knowing that I won't have to deal with this BS once he reaches high school. I dont mind some of the other parents but those busy bodies grate on my nerves

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  8. Oh, my...someone please tell me why people think they have the right to horn in into the lives of others...I absolutely agree with you on rainsing your son to be independent and self - sufficient and I think you handled the situation perfectly well. ^^

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  9. Hear, hear! Way to go on standing up for yourself and your parenting choices. I'm all for responsible parenting (of course), but can tell you as someone who walked to school on their own from a young age, that being given independence in relation to a child's daily routine is one of the best and most important gifts you can bestow on them.

    ♥ Jessica

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  10. I will never understand why strangers try to teach someone -_-°

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