Wednesday, November 18, 2015
Ten things on what motherhood has taught me so far.
I apologize for my lack of posting. Life has been hectic here. A couple of weeks ago, when I was sick, I got inspired me to write a post about motherhood and about all the things I learned along the way. In fact, here are the top ten things on what motherhood has taught me so far:
(1) I don't always need to be The Strong One. Find support, ask for advice, cry when I need to cry and ask for help when I need it. I cannot do everything. It made me realize that I don't always need to define myself by being strong. Sometimes showing weakness is beneficial for everyone. For example, whenever I get a migraine or get sick, I let others take care of me. I don't plough through it anymore. Letting others see my vulnerability or during moments of weakness is beneficial to me and can be beneficial to them too, especially children. It is really good for their self esteem because they can contribute in making mommy feel better. It helps teach empathy and to care for those in need.
(2) It is ok to take a break and seek occasional down time, sometimes, you just need to remove yourself for a while. I am not implying to go out and completely neglect your kid but if you need down time and are able to get it, don't feel guilty about it.You don't always need to be "on". Recently, I declared temporary insanity and went shopping by myself. When I came back, I felt recharged.
(3) Motherhood has taught me about love. I never knew how strong of a bond I could have with someone and how much love I could have for another person until I had my son. It has also taught me a lot about self love...which leads to...
(4) I am learning to love myself - stretch marks and all.
(5) It has helped me take a long harsh look at myself and the life I was living. Motherhood (more of the thought of starting a family) originally made me ditch the goth lifestyle because I foolishly conformed to society's views. There were lots of things I did not like about myself and I changed. Coming back to goth was one of them.
(6) Motherhood made me care less on what people thought. I do what is right for me and my family. I bottle fed and was shamed for it. I am goth and am shamed for that too because according to some people, I should set an example. I think this is absolutely hilarious and quite stupid. I am setting a great example for my son by simply being myself, goth and all! He is learning valuable life lessons by having an alternative mom.
(7) Motherhood is teaching me how to bring down my personal walls. I put up many emotional walls throughout my adolescent and early adult life. I do not let many people "in". Motherhood is helping me re-evaluate that stance.
(8) Motherhood (as well as coming back to goth) helped me get rid of a lot of toxic people in my life. I just don't have time or patience to deal with that. My family and I have some amazing people in our lives at that moment. It is nice to have people there to help when you need it and not expect your soul in return. I learned to set boundaries.
(9) I am learning to let things go. So what if my house is untidy or that I didn't have a perfect Thanksgiving dinner. The time we spend together is important. In a few months from now, no one is going to remember what silverware I used but will remember the laughter.
(10) That it is ok to slow down. I learned recently that it doesn't necessarily mean that I feel better I could go out and do all these things with my son. I am pretty sure that is why I got sick twice during the month of October. Once I recover from an illness, take an extra day or two of rest before I go out and do all kinds of shit! I learned that Philip doesn't care what we are doing as long as we are doing something together. I do not need to push myself to entertain him if I am under the weather or just starting to recover from an illness. He doesn't care if we are watching movies together while I am on the couch or if we do a huge physical activity together.