Monday, August 24, 2015

Blinded by the light

Last year, I missed out on my work's summer activity due to health reasons and this year, I was super excited to participate because we went to the water slides! How cool is that?  My enthusiasm quickly turned into anxiety over my body image then it escalated into being afraid of accidentally flashing my coworkers. It took me all weekend to write this post and I had a lot of fun doing it. The thoughts that ran into my head during my moments of anxiety last week still make me laugh today!

The story begins last summer when I purchased an R2D2 bathing suit as an impulse buy (yes, I am THAT geeky) and I never really wore it.

I was so stressed out by wearing this bathing suit to the water slides - the ONLY one I own because it showed way too much of my thighs that I didn't want to go anymore. It is sad. No one should feel this way. No one should feel ashamed of their bodies to the point they are thinking of purposely missing an activity.
Image source: https://blackmilkclothing.com/products/artoo-2-0-swimsuit

 Here are some of the funny thoughts I had with regards to wearing that bathing suit. It all started with the way I saw myself in that bathing suit and then it escalated to the fact I was paranoid about it becoming see-through in the water:

"My thighs jiggle"

" Fuck, I am pale. What if they get blinded by it in the sun?"

"Oh shit! I am going to see my coworkers in their bathing suits!"

"My bathing suit is white...what if it gets wet? ..... shit.... THEY ARE GOING TO SEE ME NAKED! NO ONE WANTS THAT! It's like having those stereotypical nightmares of going to school in your underwear or something. It would be so embarrassing like when a guy gets called to the blackboard in school!"

Visions of me standing in a faded R2 bathing suit with my bits exposed became a little too much for me because the last thing I want is any of my coworkers to see ANYTHING resembling a camel or a camel's toe on me! Add in my own personal insecurities about my body and the idea of wearing a bathing suit became less appealing. I honestly doubt they would have let me on the slides in shorts and a t-shirt so I knew if I wanted to have fun, I would have to find something to wear!  An hour before the stores closed, the night before the activity, I got in my car and hit the local mall. This time, my impulse buying was a lot better. I got a very nice one piece that covered the areas I was super self conscious about.  I even bought a cute bag to go with the bathing suit!


In the end, I realized that I was silly, that I let my own personal insecurities and anxiety get the best of me but by wearing something I felt comfortable in made me relax and enjoy my afternoon! I had so much fun! In the end, I really didn't care what I looked like. The lesson of the day: never let your own personal views on your body image ruin your day!

So there you have it. A day in the life of Sylvie!

Please excuse the photo quality and the boxes, I never go in that room and keep forgetting to move them! What I love about this bathing suit is that I can adjust the bottom. I can decide whether or not I want to show more skin, perfect for covering my thighs!






14 comments:

  1. A very nice bathing suit and you look beautiful in it!

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  2. I totally get why you worried, the world can be stupid and judgemental, also having worries about your bathing suit going see through is pretty legitimate! You do look stunning in the new one! Just remember you are gorgeous!

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    1. Awww, thanks :) That's very sweet of you

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  3. That r2 bathing suit is so cool! The new one is very pinup! But I totally get what you were thinking about feeling exposed in front of co workers. I probably would have done exactly the same thing. I mean, I went on holiday with FRIENDS when I was pregnant no less, and still didn't want to strip down to my bathers to get in the hot tub!

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    1. Aww that sucks for you too. I thought the suit looked pinup as well, which is what helped me decide to buy it

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  4. Oh, you...^^ You look absolutely gorgeous in that bathing suit. ^^
    But I do understand your worries, I would have felt the same; I know it's silly, but I feel terribly uncomfortable wearing bathing suits too, moreover, even though I like to swim, I try to avoid the beach as much as I can...:) And if I have to go, I only wear one - piece bathing suits and I always have a towel to wrap myself up in as soon as I get out of the water...:D

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    1. Yeah I did the same thing! I brought my cool Tardis towel :p

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  5. Love the sophisticated black cossie. I think you had a win-win situation in the end. And you're my hero because I don't even own a swimming costume let alone have the bravery to wear one!

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  6. That's a really nice bathing suit... And I totally think you weren't being unreasonable... I'd never be seen in a bathing suit in front of my coworkers. I can't think of any of my coworkers who would enjoy that

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  7. well, the black bathing suit looks great on you and i am sorry you have had such negative thoughts :-( even though i doubt ones workmates would be asholes and make fun of you or something like that but going with something you feel comfortable in for sure always is a better choice...

    but may i also say that i am really quite sure that the origin of that first swimsuit image is from blackmilkclothing.com ;-) https://blackmilkclothing.com/products/artoo-2-0-swimsuit

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    1. Oooh thanks for bringing that up! I am going to change that, much appreciated :p

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