Wednesday, June 10, 2015

You were better before


Before I begin this post, I would like to point out two things:

(1) In my opinion, if you dress differently, have body modifications (ie. tattoos, piercings, etc), or dye your hair an unnatural color (ie. pink, blue, etc) then you should expect to get rude comments and dumb questions. I do not get offended by these and usually try to be very polite. Sometimes I get amused by their remarks and it inspires me to write about it!

(2) Most of you by now know that there was a period of my life I left the goth scene. I went normal, still listened to the music but completely rejected my true self. As a result, now that I am myself again and have been for quite some time, lots of people have a hard time adjusting as I am sure I covered many times in this blog.

I don't take these personally as it usually speaks volumes about the other person than it really does on me.

Now that I got those two things out of the way, here is my story:

It all began a couple of weeks ago when I went to visit my mother to help her get rid of some things. My mom's neighborhood is suburban and a lot of people who reside on her street are elderly and don't have much time on their hands because they are very nosy! I know this may sound mean but every time I go to visit my mom, I am not even out of my car and they are crossing the street to talk to me! They are very nice people and it entertains me immensely! My mom is the same way too so I am sure any new homeowners appreciate the "neighborhood watch"!

As I was getting out of my car, the nice little old man from across the street comes over. He starts talking and I am politely trying to usher my mom along because I didn't want my job to take all day. He sees my tattoo and completely flips out and here goes the series of questions/remarks:

"what did you do"?
"Why did you do that?"
"Did it hurt?"
"If it hurts, why did you do it?"
"You are a woman, women are not supposed to get tattoos" - I really had to keep my anger in check for this one and remembered he is an old man from the "old country".
My all time favourite: "How much did it cost"

and now the final remark: "You were better before" He was not only referring to my pre-tattoo days (he never noticed the first one, which is much smaller on my shoulder, by the way. The second one is much more noticeable) he was also referring to the time I went normal because he kept mentioning the blonde hair and wearing colors.

Again, I am remembered where this was coming from and not wanting to alienate my mother from her neighbors (which they have been for almost two decades now) I thought it would be best to just thank him for his opinion and politely excuse myself.  I thought it would be best to walk away at this point.

This wasn't enough for my mom, though. She stepped right in and what she said to this old little man was pure gold: "You just wait right there, Sylvie. We are not done here, yet. She was NOT better before. If you knew what she was going through, it was sad. It was pitiful. She is better now. She has always been like this, the way she is now, with her clothing, hair and tattoos. She is happy now. This is my daughter. What you saw before wasn't the Sylvie I know.  It was a phase! It wasn't her at all. This is who she is now and I am proud of her"

It is funny on how usually parents say it is a phase when their kids go goth. My mom said my dressing normal was one! My mom for the win!

Here is the beautiful piece of artwork that caused it all! I was not better before, I am much better now! Thank you little old man for reaffirming this!





23 comments:

  1. go mom! and your tattoo is awesome.

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  2. That is a beautiful tattoo, and it is lovely that your mum stood up for you like that! I am totally awwwwwwww-ing at it and I want to hug your mum!

    I find it funny a lot of people don't seem to realise that changes might really be someone becoming more their true self. If we should really be the way God/ nature or whatever people believe in made us, then why did God/mother nature etc. give us the means to discover hair dye, makeup, etc. ?

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    1. "I find it funny a lot of people don't seem to realise that changes might really be someone becoming more their true self." Well said!

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  3. That tattoo is amazing! ^^
    My mom wasn't happy with my goth style, she says she likes this current, more colorful style a lot more, but to be honest, I do too and my mom sais it shows...She never said I looked bad; sometimes she complained, but she never tried to change me or my style while I dressed goth. She accepted it because it seemed to make me happy at the time...And I guess that is what matters to parents: They just wanna see you happy, so they will support the things that make you happy...:) Your mom is awesome!! ^^

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    1. Your mom sounds great too. Iam happy you found your own style!

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  4. Love the tattoo! I have also had similar experiences, both with people I know and people I am close to (my stepdad for example) and it's just sad the way they feel they must enforce their opinions in such a way. I'm glad your normal phase is behind you ;)

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    1. thank you! usually when people enforce their opinions like that, I tend to tune them out.

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  5. Your Mom is a wise woman, it warms my heart to know there are people like her. And your tattoo is beautiful.

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  6. How great of you that your mom stood up for you! You look great and if this is how you like to look, even better!

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  7. This makes my blood boil. Why is it that men think they can say shit like that? I have had someone tell me that I looked better "before" too, a jerk who was smirking as he said it. Some men really take pleasure in putting women down and I just want to set them all on fire.

    I love your tattoos and I enjoy tattoos in general. I understand that not everyone does, but it doesn't mean they are allowed to comment on other people's bodies. Rock on!

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    1. People have a false sense of entitlement. It drives me nuts. Some men think they are the superior gender and they know everything. Got to love the male ego lol!

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  8. What a gorgeous and unique tattoo!! Just like the woman wearing it. :-) Your mom ROCKS!!!

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  9. Your mama is awesome :)
    Amazing tattoo :)

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    1. thank you. SHe really surprised me

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  10. This is such a lovely story! I wish I'd someone stick up for me that way. x

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