Day 1 – How did you come to the subculture?
Like most people, I came into the subculture as a teenager. I was always attracted to the macabre, even as a child. Don't get me wrong, as a preschooler, I was terrified of the count from Sesame Street but as I got older, my preferences changed. I read a lot of horror books. I got into Stephen King by the time I was twelve and I remember not wanting to walk by a sewer for weeks after I read "IT". By the time I reached high school, a friend of mine introduced me to Anne Rice.
When I was about eleven years old, I saw a goth girl and I remember wanting to look like her and a couple of years later, I did!
I started expressing myself visually early on through clothing and I was often made fun of for being the odd one. It was long before I started dressing goth when people would shout "Freak" at me in the hallways at school. I never felt like being a freak was a bad thing, either. Eventually, I just started dressing all in black. I don't know if I was influenced by a boyfriend I had at that time or I just sort of fell into it. I like to think it was a bit of both. I also remember that peticular boyfriend and I going for a casual stroll in the cemetery on a date and I kept going leisurely since!
Day 2 – Share photos and experiences from your Baby Bat days.
Thankfully for me, I do not have any photos left over from my Baby Bat days and it is not like I am going to go searching for them, either! I did cover this experience several times in this blog. I once wrote about the mistakes I made as a Baby Bat and what advice I would give my baby bat self as an adult, which is one of my favourite posts, by the way. There are some pretty embarrassing photos of me on my famous "What happened after I rediscovered Goth" post when I was just coming back and starting to re-build a goth wardrobe.
|I feel that this photo with my own baby bat (Shhh! Don't tell him that, he would get mad and exclaim that he is no longer a babybat but a big boy bat, LOL) is a perfectly acceptable substitute!|
Day 3 – When did you come out the Goth closet? (If you didn’t then simply discuss the topic)
As a teenager, I didn't really come out and tell everyone "I am goth now" I just did my own thing and really couldn't care less what other people thought! My parents and a lot of family members didn't approve but my family is pretty messed up and I never took much stock in what they had to say anyways. If they weren't discussing my life, they were gossiping about some other family member's life choices. I just felt: if they are going to talk, let's give them a damned good reason to!
As posted several times on this blog, I left the subculture but came back as an adult. Coming back as an adult was much harder than when I originally became goth as a kid.
For starters, I came back to the subculture not long after I had my son. I did not have the same body I did before I got pregnant. I learned very quickly what I felt comfortable wearing and what I didn't. It was getting used to finding clothing that I personally felt looked nice on me and wouldn't be self conscious over my "problem areas" all day.
I never made an official announcement. I discussed dress codes with my employer prior to coming to work wearing something that wouldn't be acceptable. I didn't use the word goth either, I waited for my employer to ask.
People quickly started noticing the differences in appearance and well, lots of people in my personal life just sort of left. I felt like I didn't need to give an explanation to anyone. As a babybat an explanation might of been needed but I never really did at that time, why would it change this time as an adult? I work hard for a living and well, it's simply no one's business on how I spend my money on clothing. I did write on Facebook several times that I was happy the job allowed me to wear whatever I wanted, within reason. I was always goth. Even as a "normal", there were major undertones and those who took time to actually get to know me as a person, knew that I was coming back to my true self. They really didn't care. I guess you can say that even when I wore normal clothing I really was in a glass goth closet!