I once posted something similar to this blog post, you can find it here if you would like to read about it. I would like to add a point I previously missed in that post.
You see, my son comes home and complains about a certain kid at his daycare. I gave him advice to deal with his bully and moved on. I once talked with the daycare lady and apparently, Philip is not the only one who has a hard time dealing with this kid. That is fine, in life, we all have to deal with difficult people.I did not realize this would still be an issue until today when I went to pick him up at daycare after work.
As I was helping him get his boots on, that same little boy was shouting loudly while his mother ignored him and carried on her conversation with this other parent. He then started shouting "Philip is a baby. No one likes Philip" I looked right at the kid's mother and she went on like he was doing nothing wrong. She did nothing to handle the situation.
I am not trying to claim to be mother of the year....but.... If it were Philip doing that, I would of corrected that behavior immediately. My conversation could wait. Bullying is NEVER ok. No son of mine is going to be a bully!
Then the kid goes right up to Philip and shouts incoherently in his face. My son, who is very shy, started hiding behind me.
Considering this mother did nothing to correct her child to begin with, I took matters into my own hands. I got down to the child's level and asked him calmly "why are you saying these things about Philip?"
The kid's response appalled me. "He is a baby!"
My answer "Well, that is not very nice. If Philip said something to hurt your feelings, you can tell me just like I can tell you that you saying these things are not very nice and hurts feelings"
The mother stopped her conversation. The woman caught in between looked uncomfortable. I looked at the bully's mother square in the eye and asked in a polite yet firm tone "is there a problem?"
She backed down, stuttered something I didn't quite catch and started rushing towards the door. She did tell her kid as they were leaving that he should behave better since they have errands to run and if he continues to misbehave, they won't do anything special while they were out.
Personally, that kind of behavior would of not allowed Philip to do anything special. That kind of behavior would of been stopped immediately and not rewarded. The kid was screaming those things, it was not like she didn't hear him!
My son did not appear to be phased by his words. In fact he just told me that the boy was a mean kid.
I used to think just like Philip; that bullies were just mean kids. After what I saw and experienced, I don't think he is a mean kid anymore but just a very sad child who perhaps may just want some attention. Children often don't care what kind of attention they get, even if it is negative attention. It is still attention. While I still stand my ground that this kind of behavior shouldn't be rewarded, hopefully the mom could do something enjoyable with her son, to bond with him and spend some quality time with him. I don't care what anyone says, name calling IS bullying. Kids will be kids but it is our responsibility to guide our children in the right direction. I hope she speaks to him about his behavior, yet considering she originally gave off a dismissive attitude, I do not feel very confident she will.
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