The picture and text above really sums up our parenting style. I always said I wanted to have the same family values as the Addams family. I think they can be postive parenting role models! Unlike in the movies or episodes, my kid doesn't play with knives or torture devices (duh!) and I also do not dress him like a mini version of myself.
My husband plays a super active part with raising our son. From the time he was born, my husband would wake up in the middle of the night and let me sleep! He changed more than his share of dirty diapers. He plays with my son all the time, especially when I am sick. He steps up and becomes both parents when I am under the weather so I can get my rest. He is also kind, loving and a great father. I couldn't ask for more!
We both are very active in our son's life and take an interest with his daycare and now that he is in pre-school, we both help him at night prepping him for Kindergarten. Unlike when we were kids, children are expected to know a lot before they physically start school. I am a little stressed about this because he greatly fell behind the other kids in his class recently. Thanks to working with him at night, I discovered that he needs glasses! No wonder!
While we do not expect our son to be a little version of Pugsley Addams, in fact, he chooses his own clothes and he likes what he likes, we do expect him to be the best person he can be without selling himself out to either side of the fence.
I went to visit my son's future elementary school for orientation day earlier this week. Can you believe it? I am going to be registering him for Kindergarten very soon and he will be starting elementary school in the fall! It is so bittersweet for me!
While visiting the school, just like in the scene from the Addams Family movie, there was a wall of inspirational people. I immediately started to think of the scene in the movie where Wednesday Addams puts up a drawing of one of her relatives who was burned at the stake for witchcraft. The teacher showed concern at this and Morticia's response was perfect!
I am a firm believer that my son is his own person. We do allow him to choose his own clothing (he did once choose a Sourpuss shirt made for kids much to my delight) and we do let him discover who he is on his own. I really do think he is showing signs of not wanting to follow the flock so to speak. Either way, he can be a "normal" child or an "odd" one, no matter what, I would always stand by him. I can just imagine him as a teenager rebelling, he would dress all conservatively!!!
My parents used to give me long talks about how they wanted me to try to blend in and it never worked in their favor. While they certainly meant well, I do think this can do a lot more damage than good. I honestly doubt my son Philip will be putting up pictures of relatives who died of suspected witchcraft on the school walls but I am preparing myself to hear from teachers how he does not blend in. In fact, I got those talks already from his daycare!
|Source:pinterest, Alice in Wonderland|
My responses were sort of similar to Morticia's : "Oh so he doesn't like to follow the other children, isn't that lovely? It just shows he is going to make a great leader someday!"
"Oh so what if he colored the little boy in the picture differently and told you he was an alien. Look at his imagination and how creative he is!...He did follow instructions. You never told him what color to use for that picture right? Didn't you leave it up to his imagination?"
While I am looking forward to watching him go to school and learn new things, I am also fearful. Schools tend to take away creativity and I plan on fighting for it on every turn. My son will be the best person he can and wants to be. I will always be his biggest fan, no matter the path he chooses. If he turns out to be what some people would call weird, I will encourage him to embrace it instead of trying to stamp it out. If he ends up on the opposite side of the fence, I would still encourage him and accept him no matter what. Afterall, whenever I look at him, I will always be reminded of that cute little baby with the chubby cheeks I brought home from the hospital. I will still love him unconditionally because he is my son!