Saturday, January 24, 2015

Why we relate to Gomez and Morticia


The picture and text above really sums up our parenting style. I always said I wanted to have the same family values as the Addams family. I think they can be postive parenting role models! Unlike in the movies or episodes, my kid doesn't play with knives or torture devices (duh!) and I also do not dress him like a mini version of myself.

My husband plays a super active part with raising our son. From the time he was born, my husband would wake up in the middle of the night and let me sleep! He changed more than his share of dirty diapers. He plays with my son all the time, especially when I am sick. He steps up and becomes both parents when I am under the weather so I can get my rest. He is also kind, loving and a great father. I couldn't ask for more!

We both are very active in our son's life and take an interest with his daycare and now that he is in pre-school, we both help him at night prepping him for Kindergarten. Unlike when we were kids, children are expected to know a lot before they physically start school. I am a little stressed about this because he greatly fell behind the other kids in his class recently. Thanks to working with him at night, I discovered that he needs glasses! No wonder!

 While we do not expect our son to be a little version of Pugsley Addams, in fact, he chooses his own clothes and he likes what he likes, we do expect him to be the best person he can be without selling himself out to either side of the fence.

I went to visit my son's future elementary school for orientation day earlier this week.  Can you believe it? I am going to be registering him for Kindergarten very soon and he will be starting elementary school in the fall! It is so bittersweet for me!

While visiting the school, just like in the scene from the Addams Family movie, there was a wall of inspirational people. I immediately started to think of the scene in the movie where Wednesday Addams puts up a drawing of one of her relatives who was burned at the stake for witchcraft. The teacher showed concern at this and Morticia's response was perfect!


 I am a firm believer that my son is his own person. We do allow him to choose his own clothing (he did once choose a Sourpuss shirt made for kids much to my delight) and we do let him discover who he is on his own.  I really do think he is showing signs of not wanting to follow the flock so to speak. Either way, he can be a "normal" child or an "odd" one, no matter what, I would always stand by him. I can just imagine him as a teenager rebelling, he would dress all conservatively!!!

My parents used to give me long talks about how they wanted me to try to blend in and it never worked in their favor. While they certainly meant well, I do think this can do a lot more damage than good. I honestly doubt my son Philip will be putting up pictures of relatives who died of suspected witchcraft on the school walls but I am preparing myself to hear from teachers how he does not blend in. In fact, I got those talks already from his daycare!

Source:pinterest, Alice in Wonderland


My responses were sort of similar to Morticia's : "Oh so he doesn't like to follow the other children, isn't that lovely? It just shows he is going to make a great leader someday!"

"Oh so what if he colored the little boy in the picture differently and told you he was an alien. Look at his imagination and how creative he is!...He did follow instructions. You never told him what color to use for that picture right? Didn't you leave it up to his imagination?"

While I am looking forward to watching him go to school and learn new things, I am also fearful. Schools tend to take away creativity and I plan on fighting for it on every turn. My son will be the best person he can and wants to be. I will always be his biggest fan, no matter the path he chooses. If he turns out to be what some people would call weird, I will encourage him to embrace it instead of trying to stamp it out. If he ends up on the opposite side of the fence, I would still encourage him and accept him no matter what. Afterall, whenever I look at him, I will always be reminded of that cute little baby with the chubby cheeks I brought home from the hospital. I will still love him unconditionally because he is my son!

14 comments:

  1. Great post! I totally agree with you, it's vital to teach our children to be themselves, not mini versions of us or copies of "everyone else". As I used to tell my son, "If everyone else was jumping off a cliff, would you follow?" And it's so sad that most schooling ends up draining so much creativity out of kids... There are a lot of good teachers out there, but the system takes more and more choice out of their hands. Have you considered finding or starting a home schooling group as a possible alternative to public school? Just a thought...

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  2. I have considered it but it is very difficult here to do so. Also it would be very hard to live off of one income here.

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  3. My son is 17 now and he dresses much more conservatively than I do. So yes...normal is the new rebellion according to him. However he does not follow the crowd in what he believes in and what music he listens to. He is very much his own person and has an amazing talent for music that didn't come from either one of us. He has great empathy for people and animals and can be quite political at times. How Punk Rock! ;) Above all else he doesn't like to be put in a box and is very opinionated and self assured. He likes what he likes and doesn't care what what others think about it. I'm very proud of the person he is becoming. Now if only I could get him to clean his room and take his school work more seriously! :)

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    1. Your son sounds awesome! I hope mine ends up a lot like yours!

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  4. I love Morticia and Gomez's relationship, very tender, supportive and sexy! And yes, I did have a little crush on Gomez when I was a young girl, who wouldn't!

    Yes, it is scary how schools and parents try to change their children, I know mine were ok with me being odd until I started wearing black and then they started freaking out. Sigh. I hope that if I have kids, bringing them up among a horde of interesting friends will set them on the right path to become an interesting and good hearted individual!

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    1. I hope for the same thing with mine. Sorry to hear about your folks.

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  5. It's tough trying to let your kid be themselves while school tries to teach them to follow the herd

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  6. It is very important to teach a child how to be themselves even if at an early age they wish to be the same as all the others. In the end they will choose their own path in life, we've all been through this at some point in our life.

    unknownprettylies.blogspot.com

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    1. That's very true. The only thing I can do is give him the tools to cope and self confidence.

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  7. Love this post! And totally agree. I'm also worried about school affecting my daughter's creativity, I am considering home schooling because of the way I always felt about school myself. But I'm feeling very torn.

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    1. Thank you. I am also torn. It is very hard to be allowed to homeschool here where I live but on the other hand, I want him to socialize. I want him to learn that there are a lot of people out there that are just plain asshats and I want him to have the necessary tools to cope. I guess as parents, we should give our kids the necessary tools to deal with situations as well as self confdence to be able to survive. If a child is sheltered, how will he/she deal with a difficult boss or a co-worker later on?

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  8. The Adams family realy are the perfect family! Good luck with school! Our eldest started school last year. We worried both because he is a bit different, and because my husband I had bad experiances with school. So far things are going well, but we haven't quite relaxed yet. I think the best a parent can do is keep their eyes open for any negative changes and install enough self confidence in the kid that they can be themselves.

    I love the answers you gave to the daycare!

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