Then there were the others. The Tribbles as I like to call them who had nothing but negative things to say. Not only did these people stab me in the back but I was also stabbed in the front. Be forewarned. It may not happen to you but it always seems someone has something to say!
These people greeted me with open arms when they saw photos of me on Facebook with blonde hair, bright blue shirts and how I looked like everyone else. They accepted me. It felt good to get approval because in the past, they made it very clear that they didn't approve of my goth phase.
Then I ditched the charade and they said all sorts of things, tried to give me advice and even implied that I was being selfish because I am a mom now. I should dress the part! Did you know that being a mom entailed a uniform? Behind my back and even to my face, it was said that I was doing it to attract male attention. We all know that stereotype! Some of them said that I am a mother now and I shouldn't be viewed as a sex symbol
|The first corset I got when I came back. Who knew this beautiful garment sparked so many comments! I am a mom now so I shouldn't wear these things. I guess being a MILF is an insult?|
The funny thing is, when I was "normal" you don't know how many whistles I received from strange men. You don't know how many unwanted advances I got from from people. I think it was the other way around but since stereotypically speaking, goths are supposedly easy, I must be having affairs every night! Jeez, I wonder where I would find time for that with a small child to take care of but anyways. That one amused me the most.
The all time best, it was greatly implied that I was a bad mother because I started dressing goth again. Oh noes! Can you believe it? How dare I raise my child to have an open mind? Shame on me! Damn me to hell!
|My first piercing since coming back|
|Obviously, I needed a tattoo. It represents a lot. Being true to myself and the birth of my son.|
Another classic "what would your husband say?" He knew me in High School. He met me as a goth. We started dating when I was still goth. While he was supportive, he was kind of sad that I ditched the clothing. Not because of anyway he viewed me, because he knew that the clothing represented who I am. He was happy and is usually more than willing to overlook my spending towards new clothing items today and every other damned day!
Some people just stopped talking to me altogether. They never seen me as a little Gothling, only as the normal Barbie doll incarnation so they were shocked. One person said "we have nothing in common anymore" although I pointed out that nothing really changed except for my clothes.
|Me slowly coming back. I didn't have much clothes back then. I just dyed my hair black and badly cut my bangs into Bettie ones. I fixed those. The clothes I had, still didn't fit me anymore as I gained weight from being pregnant.|
I was accused of having some midlife crisis. I couldn't handle being a new mom. I was depressed.
My all time favourite "I really like you. I really want to be your friend but I just wish you could dress normal like everyone else" That one cracked me up. I never knew friendship meant having a dress code.
Some people just unfriended me from Facebook. I blinked and they were gone!
|My first Halloween when I came back|
The thing is, none of that bothered me. Just like the meme, being unfriended on Facebook really was like the trash was taking itself out for me! It was wonderful! The people who mattered, didn't make a big deal about it. The nicest thing someone told me once is that I make a cool mom. It helped me find out who my real friends were.
|I had to buy him the obligatory Sourpuss shirt. It still fits him.|
So if you are thinking of dusting off your old pair of Doc Martens and bringing out the electric razor to cut your hair into a death hawk after all these years, why not? What do you have to loose? Nothing. In fact, you gain new friends, you keep the good ones and you can re-experience the whole subculture once again.This time as an adult! I know this maybe biased but come on... you know you want to!
P.S. one thing this blog post taught me, I can be vain...look at all those selfies I took. I am glad I "catalogued" my transition. Yes, we shall go with that! I catalogued it all!