Wednesday, December 3, 2014

The Trouble With Tribbles and how I was doing it before it was cool!

I am sure we all experienced it. There is always someone. Be it a family member, an acquaintance, co-worker or neighbor, there is usually ALWAYS someone there that looks down on you due to your lifestyle choices. This would be understandable if I were to be a murderer, drug user, or doing anything illegal but I am not. I am being looked down on because of the way I dress. That I openly admit that I am part of the goth subculture. I look weird. I am a "freak" and "not normal". I am not as good as they are because of the choices I make over MY OWN PERSONAL APPEARANCE.

Some people are more blatantly obvious than others with their remarks, some people will call you a silly nickname in guise of only joking. Don't get me wrong, I have a sense of humour and can take a joke. I make fun of myself all the time!  You know these people are showing you their sense of disproval, you can tell by their not-so-subtle yet "only joking" remarks. You know they are totally serious, you know they are insulting you but the moment you confront them for being an ass, they play victim. They tell you that you are being overly sensitive or you are doing it for attention. You can't take a joke and my all time favorites are: "it was all a misunderstanding" or "it would be easier if you dressed like everyone else then you wouldn't have to go through this"

I ignore these people but like a bad rash, they keep coming back. They are like tribbles!

Souce:google images, Star Trek, The Trouble With Tribbles


These are usually pretty vanilla people. They couldn't conceive a creative thought even if it were to hit them on the face with a shovel!

This is probably why they like to rag on you.

What really rots my socks is when these said people critcize you for doing a certain thing. It could be trivial like giving your kid a mohawk, getting a piercing, tattoo or dying your hair a certain color because it is not within the mainsteam. They do this to your face and behind your back. It becomes a "thing" even though it is none of their business anyway.

Next thing you know, they are doing the same god damn thing as you because some celebrity did it or it is the new fashion trend and they just have to fit in.It annoys me. Mainstream fashion will take something from a subculture, make it trendy and people like these eat it up although they originally criticised you for doing the same thing in the first place. The only difference, they criticised you because you did it before it became trendy. You weren't following the norm. I know, I know, I sound like a Hipster! "I was doing it first!"



I know I shouldn't let it get to me. I should feel priviledged and so forth but I don't. It annoys the crap out of me. I don't follow the latest fashion trends, I wear what I like! I do sometimes get clothing in mainstream stores but that is just because whatever is the "in thing" at that time coincides with the clothing I personally like to wear.  Hell, I even buy brand name alternative clothing items. I can't always say that I am "oh so original" yet I express myself with things I like, not to follow what everyone is wearing, even if it is within the subculture. Yes, Gothlings, some of us do it to each other too. I have heard many times. If you like a certain band amongst the other "proper goth bands"or you wear a certain piece of clothing, you are a poseur! Really? That Special Secret Goth Cabal (Thank you Jillian Venters) must be real busy!

I guess you can say, it is the general attitude from these Tribbles, I mean people, that just grate on my nerves. If it is in style, it is ok but the moment you do what you like to do and what makes you happy, out come the pitchforks!

On a more pleasant side, at least I know that I and all those like me, who dances to the beat of their own drum ,will always have a special place in society. We are often known to be innovators and creative geniuses. Note the snarkiness and sarcasm at the genius remark...OK OK...we all know I am a creative genius! So there!

25 comments:

  1. first off, I like the name tribbles! That is hilarious. I call them Muggles! Lol. This is something us alternative girls (or guys) have to deal with on a daily basis. I have found that most of the time these types of tribbles are coworkers. We might have to work with the tribbles but we usually don't have much in common with them. This is where all the trouble comes from. Just try discussing movies or books with them! They use humour like you said, or sometimes they seem genuinely concerned, or they are just jealous and angry. Whatever their motivation Is they just can't keep their comments to themselves. Here are a few of my comebacks for stupid tribble comments... Being normal is overrated anyway, halloween is every day for some of us, and this is just an every day outfit for me. And if I'm feeling a little annoyed that day I might tell them they need to get out more often. Usually after they get to know me they stop commenting on my outfits. I have to say though at my current job I only have one or two coworkers that make comments. Most of them are creative so they are more open minded. I get more compliments then tribble comments these days.

    However, I did hear a doozy from a customer the other day. She wanted to know If we were hiring first and then she asked if me and my coworker if we were required by our job to dye our hair "funny colours". (mine is bright red, hers is purple) Because that would be a deal breaker for her and I'm pretty sure she was serious!

    The funny thing is I don't think I'm all that outrageous when it comes to goth fashion. In fact I'm pretty old school compared to some of my friends. I guess it's all relative. Anyway, don't let the Muggles get to you. Stand your ground and own your style. Remember you look beautiful to those that matter!

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    1. LOL thanks Mary. That was funny that you were asked to dye your hair "funny colors" I think I dress a little old school goth too and I am not overly outrageous either. One of my favourite comebacks are "I wear black because its thinning. or it is easier to do laundry! No sorting!" Ha! Muggles is a good name too. I think the tribbles came to me because they all look alike and aside from procreating, they just seem to take up space! LOL! Thanks for the advice

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  2. Luckily I haven't faced these kinds of issues since I was a teenager. Being an adult helps, that alone commands respect. I think because tattoos and alternative fashions have been consistently popular, most people no longer question it. The prudish older generations are dying off and the kids who use to be grunge are now parents. Times are changing. I have a workmate who still hasn't figured out that I dress alt, but it seems she appreciates what she calls my ”bold, statement " fashion. One day any kind of prejudice against goth will be so far gone that we'll be as ”vanilla” as everybody else lol.

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  3. Wow, you are lucky you haven't faced these issues. I guess for me personally, I went normal than came back so it re-opened that can of worns or I am just unlucky to have those types of people act lthat way. I am an adult and it never commanded respect for me, yet apparently I was told I look young for my age. Either way, I think there are just overly conservative people out there who have nothing better to do than judge everyone else.

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    1. I definitely agree, there are overly conservative people out there whose life's purpose is to treat other people like garbage. If these people know you from having been normal, then maybe the transition is too difficult for them to understand. I just can't fathom anybody under 35 being judgmental of alt or goth fashion, like, have they spent their entire lives living in their parents basement? How can you be that sheltered?! lol

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    2. Its not just people under 35, that's the problem. There are always exceptions to the rule. Usually the people around our age (under 35) are doing it for approval from their parents or they are overly religious/conservative/pole up the butt type people. LOL I have received annoying comments/remarks/ been backstabbed by lots of people. They tend to be overly conservative/religous/holier than thou types that have nothing better to do than try to be "popular" and follow the trends. You are really lucky you never came across those and I hope you never will

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  4. My whole family and relatives were totally unsuppirtive about being different. At least public in general seem to be getting more accepting, I have had compliments on my tattoo, blue hair and black tutu skirt

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    1. MOST of my family didnt seem surprised I went back to dressing this way but there are always that small handful of people that tend to be unsupportive. I am sorry your family gave you a hard time. I think you look fabulous

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    2. Aw thanks! I think we deserve a pat on the back for having to strength not to be tribbles! :P

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  5. Hear hear! In my case I know it's my own mother who's doing the Janus face on me - I know she gets embarrassed when I turn up at family events looking like I stepped out of a Victorian novel (usually the funeral scene). I can hear her whispering to people in corners about me being a 'weirdo' - well, that suits me fine as her particularly virulent strand of beige doesn't suit me!

    and brand fascism depresses me no end. I love Spin Doctor / Hell Bunny clothing, but have felt looked down when at goth events wearing their dresses. The phrase 'Barbie Goth' is coming back to haunt me again...

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    1. I don't think you look like a Barbie Goth at all. I wear goth brand name outfits too. Haters gonna hate! Everytime you come across someone like that, think of the tribbles! Hopefully, that would make you laugh!

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  6. I have to agree with this post. I hate to sound like an excessively grouchy or bitter hipster, but the mainstream seems to take and defile a lot of what was once alternative. And it's kind of annoying. Especially when they made fun of you for doing/wearing it before it was cool, as you've mentioned, or if you get mistaken for one of them. I don't know if it's happening where you are, but chokers and black clothes are a major trend right now, where I live. Gorgeous chokers are being worn with everything (it looks ridiculous sometimes, especially full out elaborate Victorian style chokers being worn with a tank top and shorts), and cheap ones are made left and right. It kind of cheapens what I love. People call themselves goth because they wear black or own a few chokers. Ugh...

    thanks for this post!

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    1. The chokers havent hit it here yet... In a way, I kinda like it when it goes in style. When the style isnt "in" anymore, they go on sale and I stock up. Like when it was fashionable to wear skulls and crosses :) It annoys me like what I posted and now I kinda regret not adding in the whole sale shopping after a trend is over. Perhaps that could be a future post? LOL

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  7. I love how we all seem to have funny names for the "normal" people! Whenever I get funny comments and such therea always one phrase thay comes to my mind about them: how very DROLL! I even have one friend who is alternative but works a decent job, and when she expressed wishes to dye her hair blue her (also alternative) father acted like she would be ruining her sense if professionalism and making a bad life choice. Of course having green hair I rather took this to heart and felt judged and offended by someone I actually looked up to and admired. I work in s bar so I can look however I want, and my own stepfather disapproves of my life choices, from my tats, my piercings, my job, my boyfriend (heavily tattooed) and the fact that at 19 years old I was living in a caravan and pregnant. Even though this is the happiest I've ever been! There are always the negative ones unfortunately:(

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    1. At the end of the day Darling, you got to do what is right for you, your boyfriend and your baby (I love it when you post photos on your blog by the way, just adorable!) I always tease my husband by saying: a happy wife is a happy life LOL You have my support 100% and if ever you need to vent, you can always send me a PM. You can use that form thingy I posted on the upper right hand side of this blog, this way we dont need to post our email addresses for all to see.

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  8. I'm pretty fortunate that I teach at a university and it is its own insulated microcosm. For the most part, other faculty members are pretty positive because being different is perfectly acceptable in a Liberal Arts institution. Students can find my office because there is a giant bat over my door, and I teach courses that continue to excite my inner-15-yr-old-self (Gothic Literature; Vampires in Lit & Film, etc.). Now and then I do have some staff who ask silly questions such as, "Why do you wear bats" referencing necklaces or pendants. My response is always a half response, "Because I love bats!" I've even been asked "Are you goth or something" whereas I have responded, "I guess it wasn't a phase". Our new dean asked if I was "into skulls". I took it more of an honest she's-trying-to-figure-me-out question than anything else. But I think being a bit different works to my advantage. I can be blunt about not caring about fitting in to mainstream fashion/interests and that is the type of role model that young people need- be yourself! My sister-in-law even commented that she used to dislike bats and other "Weird stuff" until she met me; but now, she realizes their importance in ecology etc.

    Sometimes I think people don't know how to be different. Sometimes their comments seem a little envious such as the one about giving your kid a mohawk. Most of my friends who are moms would love to be seen as the cool mom, and I'm pretty sure their sons would love having mohawks because its fun. 5 yr olds don't judge me. They haven't learned to just yet. They find me amusing (typically because the more cartoonish I look, the happier I am). So when I'm asked questions I consider silly or even slightly hostile, I try to smile and respond in an upbeat way. I dyed my hair purple last week (which will only stay for a while before it returns to black because goodness the upkeep! How did 20s-Me keep up with this!). When a neighbor asked why I did it. I laughed and said, "Why not! Purple is crazy fun!" He laughed and that was that. It doesn't always end this positively but I try to stay as upbeat about it as I can.

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    1. That is a great way to deal with it. I often use your approach too just there are times,,,like you said, it doesn't always end positively. ugh! Tribbles! It just annoys me that I was criticized for doing things and all of a sudden, they do the same thing.

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  9. OMG, I LOVE your usage of "tribbles" to describe these asshats!! This is a terrific post, you are so dead on with this! People who claim to be "just joking" when they bash you about something know exactly what they are doing, but are too afraid to just flat out admit it. And the behind-your-back snarking is just plain cowardly. Bullies have more guts than they do, although that's not saying much.

    I didn't come out as goth until I was in my 40s, so I never had to deal with criticism about my appearance, but I remember how boring dressing (and being) mainstream was, and I NEVER intend to go back to that. I would rather be snarked at on a daily basis! Fortunately, I also work in a setting where pretty much anything is okay, as long as it's decent and legal. And I definitely get more compliments now than I ever did as a 'normal' dresser.

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    1. Thank you I was goth as a teenager but went normal. After I had my son, I went "who am I kidding" and just said fuck it. Came back and I am happy.

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    2. Isn't it hilarious how we say 'normal' like it's a swear word??? ;-)

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    3. It is hilarious! I remember when I was "normal" and put my picture with blonde hair on Facebook SOmeone commented "wow, you look normal. You look so good" I was so insulted. I am sure the person was complimenting me but I was so insulted and sad.

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    4. Heh, 'normal' IS insulting!! To me it's just another word for 'boring'. Who wants to look like everyone else? And what exactly IS 'normal', anyway? Depends entirely on your point of view.

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    5. That is very true. Normalcy is overrated!

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