Saturday, October 18, 2014

Thoughts on beauty from a Gothling's perspective

The following TED talk video was shared via social media and I was captivated by the message behind it. To sum it up, the message behind it is: " it is not about the way we look but what we do that counts." While I did question the motive for the video as it was Global Director of the Dove Self Esteem project, Meaghan Ramsey doing the speech, the root message is still worth taking time to watch the video. It helped me put a few things in perspective. If you want to watch the video, it is found here:
http://www.ted.com/talks/meaghan_ramsey_why_thinking_you_re_ugly_is_bad_for_you

After watching the video clip, I started questioning myself. As a little gothling, I put a lot of focus on my external appearance. I rarely leave my home without makeup. I feel like I always should look my best. I started questioning myself. Yes, I look pretty but there is so much more than just being a pretty face. I am kind. I care too deeply at times. I would give the shirt off my back for those in need. Yet, I like my makeup and freaky clothing but it doesn't define who I am. It helps express who I am but it is not the most defining characteristic. I do it for me and I don't care what anyone else says!

I know lots of people within the subculture spend a lot of time on their looks, even to the point they question whether or not they are goth enough. A lot of elitists amongst our subculture spend way too much time judging other people on the clothes and makeup they wear vs getting to know the person for who they are. I always stood by the belief that if you love the music, had a passion for all things dark and spooky, enjoyed the literature and everything else this wonderful subculture has to offer, then yes, you are goth enough! I even made another post about it. Click here to read about it.

I am not goth because I want to rebel against society, although, I do admit, I do not always agree with the mainstream. It is thanks to the mainstream who celebrates celebrity culture and what they wear and how they are put on pedestals that makes me turn my back on it. Only in today's popular culture, people like Kim Kardashian and Paris Hilton are celebrated because of how beautiful and thin they are. What have they actually ever done to contribute towards society? Oh right, nothing. They just sit around and look pretty. If aliens were to invade our planet, they would pass us by. No signs of intelligent life here!

Yes, I put on makeup in the morning. I do wear lots of makeup and sometimes spend a little too much time choosing the perfect outfit. There is a difference though. I do it for me. I want to express who I am, what I see and feel on the inside. What makes me who I am today. There was a time, I gave up on myself and fallen victim to social pressures. It was the most depressing time of my life. I even posted about it here. Thanks to coming back to goth, I am happy with myself on the inside as well as what I see on the outside. I get all dressed up just for me. Not for my son or my husband or for people I don't know. I do it for me because I love being who I am despite the flaws, the stretch marks, the flabby stomach and thunder thighs! When I do work out, it is not to be skinny and cave to social pressure but for me. For my health and well being. If people don't like me or judge me for how I look, it is simple, don't look. I have done my "spring cleaning" amongst friends and family members and I am now surrounded by people that not only do I love, support, and are positive towards but I know they do the same for me as well.

If any young reader is reading this and thinks they are ugly. You are not. Don't listen to what anyone has to say. It is not how you look, it is what you do. You could be the most beautiful person in the world but can have a bad personality. Be who you are and don't let anyone tell you different!




10 comments:

  1. Ehh...yeah, that elitist bullshit...:/
    I care about my figure and I hardly ever leave home badly dressed or without make up, but I'm not doing it to appear pretty or whatever enough to others either, I'm doing it to find comfort in my own skin and - whatever unimportant our appearance may actually be, that pretty much justifies the whole thing for me. :)

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    1. Exactly, it is just sad that so many people don't see it that way and feel they need to conform to society's beauty standards

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  2. Great article, I agree with everything! When I was young I used to worry all the time about being goth enough and impressing elitists and being accepted. Now I don't really care. I have goth friends and they all accept me even though I mostly wear colours and not black. It is great realising you can be yourself and not getting lost in appearances!

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    1. Exactly! I love the way you dress and I always look forward to seeing your posts!

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  3. nah, only posers judge. insecurity is an ugly thing.

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  4. This is just so true. People judge us too much on our looks, but the only way to have friends that you are sure care about you, is being yourself and doing your thing. I read the post where you talk about your normal years and I can relate so much. Or, not really, because I was 16 when I suddenly was normal again, so I didn't feel the pressure of growing up, but the pressure came from ~ta-da~ a boy I liked. Silly me. Anyway, at 17 I found myself again. I don't consider myself goth, mostly because I listen more to metal than goth music, but I do indentify myself with some kind of dark and spooky subculture, so I guess I can say I understand a lot of this. :)

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    1. That's ok, these things happen. It is all about growing up. I like some heavy metal bands too.

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  5. I haven't been able to be in the blogger world for a couple of weeks and I am so delighted to finally get to read your posts and many others too. :) I love the idea of "spring cleaning" unhealthy relationships away from one's life! And I totally agree, people should dress for themselves more!

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