Tuesday, September 2, 2014

Why I dislike (some, not all) other parents


Why I dislike (some, not all) other parents:

Unsolicited advice - Yes, this is my first child. Yes, I have no frigging clue what I am doing. I just wing it and hope for the best! The fact that he is alive and happy today means I am doing something right. Unless, I specifically ask for your advice, keep it to yourself thank you very much

That judgemental stare - Perhaps it is me but I know most parents judge. Hell I have done it before I had a kid and thought I knew everything! Karma came around and bit me in the butt hard because boy, did I ever learn my lesson! I stopped doing that!Usually the judgemental parents go hand in hand with....

The my kid is better than your kid pissing contest. Ugh! Eye roll!


Yes, as seen on this blog, my little one plays a huge part in my life BUT I do have other interests outside of being a parent. It seems like the moment you have a kid, you are automatically a member of some elite "mommy club" and if you don't follow all the trends the other mothers are doing, you are looked down upon and scorned. I'm sorry, yes I love my son but I was Sylvie first. I can be a mother AND a wife AND myself ya know. I never was into cliques or fitting in or doing what everyone else is doing. I do what I think is best and I make informed decisions which I may not want to discuss or explain myself to everyone. In my opinion, it is perfectly OK to have a life and have some "me time" as long as it is done within reason.  It is OK to go out once in awhile and when I do go out, I refrain from talking about my kid, especially to people who have zero interest in them and/or don't have any.

This is my all time favourite: Breast vs bottle debate. While I admit, I have encountered a lot of fanaticism on the whole pro breastfeeding side, I also encountered a lot of bitterness over bottle feeding. Perhaps it is because my son is going on four and I no longer need to worry about such issues but this topic is old. This sometimes goes hand in hand with my kid is better than your kid type of parent.

Being openly involved in a subculture and often wearing something that is outside the mainstream, I get stares and rude remarks. One woman wouldn't let her daughter play with my son and actually did the sign of the crucifix. Yes, because my blonde haired kid wearing brightly colored clothes he chose to wear that morning is the spawn of Satan. Don't let those blue eyes and that cherub like appearance deceive you, he will devour your precious little angel's soul and spit out her bones!
I posted something similar here or my favorite one here

Insert tongue in cheek.

14 comments:

  1. OMG the breast vs bottle debate. Half my friends on facebook have turned into breastfeeding "activists." I don't even have kids and they feel the need to let me know. I can't even imagine what it's like if you have kids.

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  2. My brother and my sister - in - law are in the same shoes...and even though I don't have kids - and I don't even want any-, I say you are right; I believe, that all the bullying that tends to go down in preschool and elementary can be originated from the parents' attitude towards other - different - people. I mean, kids tend to pick up their parent's attitude and habits, so if you're a jerk, your kid will most likely be one too...:/

    Besides, I think, kids need me - time too. Well, everyone does...you should never have to feel guilty for taking some time for yourself, ever. I simply don't get why people - especially moms... - don't realize how relieving it is to switch off at least for a couple of hours...:/

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    1. I think you are right about everything, especially with kids having "me time". They deserve a life wihtout their parents and it brings us closer as a family.

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  3. I know people in general are disappointingly prejudiced and have poor manners but I still am astonished when I read about them, like that weird woman who wouldn't let her kid play with your kid. >_>

    Your post made me think, what do people's kids call them. By their name or as "mom" and "dad". I did not have a "mommy", me and my brother called her by her name since the day we learned to speak. Does your kid call you Sylvia? :)

    It's rather funny, when I was a kid, my friends were a bit puzzled at first, since I never talked about mothers or fathers and when they said it, I was puzzled. Aren't their parents persons too with their own lives and names? :DD

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    1. My little one calls me mommy but that is a very valid point you made there. I never looked at it that way.

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  4. I can so relate to this :) lol. There isn't just judgment over the breast/bottle debate here, the NHS push alot of propaganda over it and it feels like they just want to force breastfeeding on people. And along with the exclusive mummy club and all the judgement, i feel like there's also alot of competition when it comes to parenthood. It's all about personal choice really and having faith in your own decision making even under pressure from what feels like the entire world. Wish people were more understanding sometimes!

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    1. Yeah I hear you. Some people, especially at the hospital I was in when I had my son were super pushy about breastfeeding. While I am all for it, there is a lot of pressure and fanaticism about it. I guess like a lot of good causes, it was built on good intentions but it takes a few to make it totally bat shit crazy! My unsolicitated advice to you is to do what you think is best. As long as you love your child, that is all what counts

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  5. Like Lynoire, I've never been interested in having kids. I make a great "play-thing" for little people once they're toddlers but "no thank you, I do not wish to hold your potentially ready to projectile vomit baby". That being said, I have even received ridicule from these parents and hear "But it's unfair of you. You're so good with children." and the infamous "You're being selfish". Luckily, I don't hear the breast vs bottle debate but I did hear a great deal of it when my bff had her babies (the oldest is now 13 holy moly!) and said bff was physically unable to breast feed. So when people got nasty with her for using a bottle or made those health benefits comments, it hurt her even worse because she really didn't have a choice except perhaps starve her little one. I remember her crying about it and it just infuriated me. I'm sorry you have to deal with these people (using the term generously). They suck! Your little guy obviously adores you and you're modeling all kinds of positive behavior by being a strong mom! Go you!

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    1. There is NOTHING wrong with not wanting to have kids. Good for you to sticking to your resolve and not cave under pressure! So many parents have kids because "that is what you do" and end up totally screwing up their kids in the process. The nice thing about other people's kids, they go away afterwards :) Just like your BFF I went through the same thing. It IS possible (despite all these people say) to not have a good milk supply. I was one of them. Instead of allowing my son to starve, I supplmented with formula. Oh noes!

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    2. It sucks that we just can't be nice and supportive to one another.

      I try to be a great godmother and like you said I love to sucker them up and send them home :)

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  6. Yes!! I completely understand this. When my little one started kindergarten this year, I had to ready myself for other parents' attitudes during pick up and drop offs. I get the weird looks and most of the other parents are standoffish, as expected.
    The breast vs. bottle debate is as irritating as the working mom vs SAHM debate. I try to stay out of it as much as possible because I hate being judged for my decisions. I have enough guilt as a mom, I don't need everyone else's opinions of how I should parent affect me.

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