Friday, September 12, 2014

Bullying is never ok, a post for fellow baby bats!

Yes, I know gentle readers, I have posted about the bullying topic many times but this is a subject that gets my blood boiling every time I hear about it or think about it because I have zero tolerance for it!  Thanks to my post about my friend being harassed at her job, to my surprise, I have had some younger readers message me over the past few days asking for advice I could give them because they were being bullied at school and well... I can't resist helping out a babybat! I know some bloggers post the message they receive from their readers on their blogs. Personally, I just do not feel comfortable doing that, unless someone specifically tells me it is OK to post it publicly. Since I did not get any permission to do so, I decided to just post about the topic instead. Thank you for inspiring me!

Disclaimer: please do not take offense to the term babybat. Personally, I think it is endearing and wishes I could still be young enough to be considered one. I do not intend to sound snarky or mean at all! Please take it as a compliment!

So this post is dedicated to any young person (doesn't necessarily have to be a goth). I will do my best to put myself in your shoes and try to give you advice I wished I received when I was your age. Man, I feel old!

One thing I want to stress, is that the bullies  are the one with the problem, not you.  I know there will be times where you may feel like the one with the problem but it is not.

While you may feel like the whole world is out to get you, it is not. Usually, it is only a select group of individuals.

In my opinion, the onlookers are just as responsible for the bullying as well as the bullies. The onlookers can help make it stop!

You do not deserve to be bullied. No one does.Your gender, your race, the clothing you wear, your sexual orientation, shouldn't make you a target for bullying. Again, you do NOT deserve this. Never let your self worth be determined by a bully. They are the ones with the problem, not you! They are the ones who are most probably afraid of anything that they do not consider "normal". I agree, I know, it still does not make it right. I have seen it many times, either with myself or someone else, we blame ourselves for the way people treat us and we really shouldn't.

I do realise that this topic is not a new one and other bloggers have posted about it many times. I really do not want to piggyback on someone else and repeat something that has already been said. This is why I took the liberty to find a really informative post about such a topic! In fact, The Lady Of Manners way back when posted something about this issue! It is so eloquently written and please do check out the comments in addition to her post, there is also some GREAT advice there too.  Here is the direct link to her post: http://gothic-charm-school.com/charm/?p=482

I am going to create a "bullying" label that will appear on the right hand side of this blog post. This will make it easier for anyone who wants to read previous posts on this subject.

Remember, you are the only one who is in the right when determining what you want to wear, what kind of music you want to listen to, what faith or creed you wish to believe in, and what orientation you wish to orient yourself to. Do not let anyone tell you differently.

You have the power to feel confident and happy my little darklings, Use it!!! 

With that being said, I wish you all to be safe and just like Julian Venters said in her post, I do too wish I could hug you all and go to each and every one of your school to tell them to STOP but I can't so I hope this post helps in some small way.



6 comments:

  1. Words like these can never be repeated too many times. As long as there are bullies in the world there are people who need help and need to hear this. Hugs to every victim of bullying out there, you are never alone!

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    1. Thank you for commenting! I hope it does help someone

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  2. This is a lovely and sadly necessary post, so well done for raising the issue and giving support. I was bullied relentlessly at school, in the main verbally though I was frequently spat at - for being short, ginger, a book nerd and poor. Strangely, becoming a goth at 16 helped, I felt like I had my own identity for the first time in my life and that I could stand strong behind it.

    I would say to anyone being bullied at a young age that it does get better. That you will reach a stage in life where you realise that the bullies are weak, ineffectual people and their actions reflect more on their inadequacies than they do you. Don't be afraid to seek help, or to get counselling - when I first went to university I was referred to a free counsellor and she gave me so much support and help. My school was also pretty anti-bullying, and whilst it took me 4 years to ask for help, they stepped in immediately once I did (I know this is often not the case, my niece was appalling bullied at an all girls fee paying school and they did nothing to help her).

    Don't think you are alone, there will always be people who will want to help you. And as Lexington says, hugs to anyone out there who needs one right now.

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    1. Thank you very much. I am sorry to hear you were bullied in school but am happy you eventually sought support. Unfortunately, I think a lot of people are afraid to seek support in fear of retaliation but sometimes, it is the best answer.

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  3. Every year it seems at least one of my clients has a child just starting school and my heart goes out for them. It is fifty years since I started at school and this still brings back a fear inside, even now at my age.

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    1. I am really sorry to hear that happened to you.

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