Thursday, January 19, 2017

How I get away by sneaking chocolate every day and how you can be sneaky too!

Found off of Pinterest

If you have been reading my blog, you know that I have lost a little over 20 pounds since last summer. I have not done this overnight. I just simply changed the way I view things and made some adjustments to my lifestyle.

When I wrote my post about losing 20 pounds and dished out that I didn't have an eating disorder, I also wrote "So folks, if this chocoholic can do it, so can you!"

Fellow blogger, Lesthi asked "What is your secret to stop eating chocolate though? I couldn't do that, haha!"

Recently, a coworker (Hi Nancy!) asked me something similar.

The thing is, I eat chocolate every single day. Yes, you read that right. Every single day.I never really gave it up, I just learned to be creative (I prefer the term sneaky) about it and let me tell you how you can be sneaky too!

When I first started with this lifestyle change, I learned real fast on how I can not give up certain indulgences. For me, that means coffee and chocolate. I need to keep my sanity! Besides, I knew that I would eventually have a bad day, I would go for chocolate and totally gorge on it because I depraved myself on something I love for so long. I knew that all the hard work I did would be ruined because I would go back to my old habits. The video clip below, taken from a Scooby Doo episode describes this perfectly. I am just like Daphne!

 I learned to find a way to still enjoy the things I love but still be healthy about it too. You all don't want me to pull a Daphne, now do you? Told you, sneaky sounds better now, doesn't it? Forbidden things always seem better because well, they are forbidden. For me, that's chocolate. This is what I have done to be sneaky whenever I become "Cou-Cou for Cocoa Puffs"! It has been six months and I have not fallen back into old habits so I guess I am doing something right! So here are my tricks and hopefully you can adapt your own creative sneaky way too

In the beginning, I would buy an Aero bar, break off two pieces, crumple it up,and mix it with yogurt. I ate one chocolate bar in a week vs a daily chocolate bar that way.

I used to NEVER eat breakfast in the morning and this is the WORST thing you can ever do to yourself. It is true what they say, breakfast is the best meal of the day. The thing is, I am so not a morning person. Whenever I do eat in the morning, I get nauseous and sick. I realized that I can drink coffee, right? Why not chocolate milk? In fact, I look forward to it. This works for me and it is better than having an empty stomach, I usually snack mid-morning if I do get hungry later on. Seriously, I have chocolate for breakfast!

Chocolate milk is my go-to after an intense workout. Forget the protein shakes or eggs. I hate eating after a work out anyways! Besides, why do you think I am motivated to workout? I get chocolate afterwards!!!!In fact, many articles, such as this one states that it helps with your body's recovery after a work out!!! Bring it on!

This dork over here has 3 nice jugs...get it? Haha!

Aside from breakfast and post-workout drink, if I am really craving a chocolate fix, I would measure 1/2 cup of chocolate milk and 1/2 cup of Almond milk (I buy the fortified, sugar free) There is less sugar and calories this way and it tastes like a chocolate Fugiscle! I won't replace my breakfast milk or post workout milk with chocolate almond milk  because there is a little more nutrients in regular cow's milk but this is more of a personal preference.

I still eat a small piece of chocolate cake every now and then. Seriously. It's chocolate cake! Fuck that shit. I would have to be REALLY sick to pass on chocolate cake! Besides, I would be one pissy Sylvie if I didn't get my daily dose of caffeine and chocolate. I just don't eat a ginormous piece anymore.

Eating healthy doesn't mean you have to give up everything you enjoy eating. Anything is fine, as long as it is done in moderation. It also enables me to think a little about the portions I eat and it allows me to be a little creative (re: sneaky) with food. Aside from the occasional little piece of dark chocolate (70% cocoa) I don't think I could eat a full chocolate bar anymore. It's just too sweet for me. Over time, my palate has changed and I crave less sugar. In fact, if something is too sweet, I tend to not really want to eat it!

Tuesday, January 17, 2017

Damn you, Steven Spielberg!

Every time my child enters a different phase in his development, I always exclaim that his current phase is my favorite one!

Having a six year old can be a lot of fun and obviously, I am going to state that this is my favorite phase so far.

You see, he says the cutest, funniest, most fucked up things!  Here is an example:

Yesterday, I had to take a sick day because he had the flu.  I also felt very run-down and nauseous myself and I thought it was best to stay home with him.

Having a sick kid can be sweet in many ways. He wants lots of cuddles and is usually very quiet! Yesterday, was spent on the living room couch watching movies. I noticed that the movie "E.T. The Extra Terrestrial" came out on Netflix. I remember loving that movie as a child and wanted Philip to take part in some of my childhood nostalgia, therefore, I convinced him to watch the movie with me. The movie begins and I am getting all giddy. I can't wait to introduce my son to something I enjoyed as a kid. Then Philip spoke: "Oh good. It's not a black and white movie. I thought movies that came out when you were a kid wouldn't have any color"

How do you respond to something like that? I decided to laugh and explain that I do love to watch old movies but when I was a kid, movies came out in color. I may be old but I am not THAT old!

Philip's drawing of E.T

Philip got into the movie. I am not surprised. He loves Doctor Who and Star Wars. He related to the protagonist, Elliott. In fact, he hung onto his every word and learned a new insult (thank you for that  Mr. Spielberg) You see, in the movie, Elliott called his older brother "penis breath" and Philip thought that was the best insult ever! Alright, I admit, I have dropped a few swear words in front of my kid and probably said much worse. Besides, I am the one who allowed him to watch the movie! Experience has taught me to simply ignore any bad language the kid repeats. If I give a reaction, it only encourages him to keep saying it.

Fast forward to bath time. Considering we watched the movie in the morning, I thought the insult would be long, forgotten by then. We were in the next room and we hear him playing in his bath. We couldn't quite make out what he was saying but we thought he sounded sweet and cute. On the other hand, the words were were able to make out very clearly were (you guessed it) "You penis breath!"

Friday, January 13, 2017

How to look like a cheap goth whore in a few easy steps.

While I was Facebooking away, I noticed that my friends over at Cemetery confessions shared an article on their page called "I gave my sweetest coworker the goth makeup of her dreams"

Edit: It appears they changed the title! I guess they got mocked by too many Goths! Seriously, go check it out, it gets worse!!!!

This article greatly amused the elitist in me because the post also appears to be an advertisement for clothing an actual goth wouldn't go near with a ten foot pole.

 I tried to look beyond the Calvin Klein sports bra and focus on the makeup, which I think is what the blogger was trying to post about. That is the thing, if you are going to give a "goth makeup" makeover, do you REALLY need to show her sporty outfit? Or are you getting paid by these well known brands to sponsor their clothing? Calvin Klein and Steve Madden do not make up a goth outfit, no matter how hard you try to label it! Why not dress up her Goth from head to toe?

Image on the left is what Health "Goth" is supposed to be, ironically, the majority of us mocked the shit out of that trend when it came out a couple of years ago. Image on the right was taken from that article. It is sad that a movement that was created to sell athletic wear to Goths is far more goth-like and athletic looking (I can't believe I wrote that in the same sentence) than a bad makeover! I never thought I would see the day!

These sort of articles make me laugh my ass off. It just shows that yet again, the mainstream has no  clue on what Goth really is. The overall impression I got from this article was "Yeah, let's put some black lipstick and heavy eyeliner on to make her look edgy."

I also love how they put "sweet coworker" in the title. Like Goth people can't be sweet. I guess we are too busy being edgy or a bad ass bitch in our black lipstick, right?

This article made my Friday. I am not laughing at the girl getting her makeup done. I am laughing at the fact that the mainstream thinks that as long as you slap on some dark makeup, boom! There you have it! Insta-Goth!


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